words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey! Babe! Arent you excited were going on our honeymoon?
Chandler: (singing) Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Chandler: Id better go pack.
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Chandler: A Speedo? Uh, I dont have a Speedo. Im gonna go pack my regular long bathing suit. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Chandler: (in the high pitched voice) What?! (Normal voice) I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of our secrets.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Joey: (whispering to Chandler) Youll tell me later?
Chandler: You already know.
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Airport Ticket Counter, Monica and Chandler are standing in line behind another couple kissing who are next in line to be served.]
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: We are on our honeymoon.
Chandler: 25J and K, any chance those arent together?
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: No.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Chandler: Just act like you belong.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Yes, of course. (Shows him the tickets.)
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mr. Treeger has finished inspecting Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
[Scene: The Atlantis Resort, Chandler and Monica are arriving to check in, but are behind the couple from before again.]
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Were you just ten seconds later!
Chandler: (looks at Monica then at them) We need the stuff.
Monica: What? Are you serious?! (To Chandler) Joey smells gas!
Chandler: What else is new?
Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.
Chandler: Yes, Bunny?
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Photographer: Why dont we have Monica step away and well get Chandler and the bridemaids.
Chandler: Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we?
Chandler: He's open!
Chandler: You're kidding.
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Chandler: Y'know, you'd think I would've.
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Chandler: Then what?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
Chandler: Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: I dont see any uh, cabs. Maybe we should just walk?
Chandler: Not a one.
Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
Chandler: �Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.� So you just touch yourself for anything?
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Chandler: There you go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Chandler: Here we go.
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: That's great.
Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?
Chandler: Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
Chandler: That's it?
Chandler: Yes, but I feel like Ive really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think were two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.
Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
CHANDLER: Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run!
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm cool. Casual.
Chandler: I'm fine.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Chandler: How do you do that?
Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
Chandler: ...He's in.
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Aurora: Chandler?
Chandler: They got a breakfast buffet.
Chandler: Hey, kids.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Chandler: Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
Chandler: Oh, so you're divorced?
Chandler: Who's Rick?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Chandler: ...Hm.
Chandler: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: Y'think?
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.