words in movies
Chandler: I missed most of the party (pause) Charlie's a girl, right?
Chandler: (to Joey) So, a professor, uh?
Chandler: Oh, yeah?
Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe we could... (he sweeps the stuff off the table and wordlessly invites Monica to have sex on it)
Chandler: We really need to take those tests?
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Chandler: It's weird! In a doctor's office?
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Chandler: Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory!
Chandler: Oh, yeah! RACHEL TALKS TOO!
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess!
Chandler: Oh, Come on!
Chandler: Why are you here?
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Chandler: What!?
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Chandler: (disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)
[Scene: The Fertility Clinic; Chandler walks out one of the rooms]
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Chandler: Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over!
Chandler: I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.
Chandler: (Slightly panicky) Yeah, but what if it's not? What if there is a reason why we can't have a baby?
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Chandler: (smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...
Chandler: (stares at her intently, then yells) It was a "Wendy's!! "
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.]
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Chandler: Doctor Connelly just called.
Chandler: Actually it's both of us.
Chandler: Apparently my sperm have low motility and you have an inhospitable environment.
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
Chandler: I'm sorry.
Chandler: Well, we're gonna... we're gonna figure this out.
Chandler: Alright, now try taking a puff.
Chandler: Yes, Bunny?
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Photographer: Why dont we have Monica step away and well get Chandler and the bridemaids.
Chandler: Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we?
Chandler: He's open!
Chandler: You're kidding.
(The player shoots and the puck flies off the rink and hits Ross in the face. Chandler looks concered until he notices...)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Hey, look, we're on that TV thing!
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Chandler: Y'know, you'd think I would've.
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Chandler: Then what?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
(Chandler and Joey hold the puck and wave at the TV thing.)
Chandler: Yknow those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Chandler: I think it's great. Y'know, it's sweet, it's romantic...
Chandler: No, you kidding? The guy's a freak.. (Ross enters off camera)
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...
Chandler: You gotta do it, man.
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
Chandler: Thanks. (The guy nods and leaves)
Chandler: Alright. (on phone) Yes, this is Rachel.
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Chandler: I dont see any uh, cabs. Maybe we should just walk?
Chandler: Not a one.
Chandler: Oh, right, right, shut up.
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Chandler: Ooh, I hate when my father calls me that.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
Chandler: �Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.� So you just touch yourself for anything?
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Chandler is over.]
Chandler: There you go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Chandler: Here we go.
Chandler: Hey, Janice.
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Chandler: (to the receptionist)'Scuse me.
Chandler: What?
Chandler: That's great.
Chandler: (covering) What... did you get me there?
Chandler: Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna get another espresso. Can I get you another latte?
Chandler: That's it?
Chandler: Yes, but I feel like Ive really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think were two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.
Chandler: Bullwinkle socks. That's so sweet.
Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
CHANDLER: Stay back, I've got kiwi. Run, Joey, Run!
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
(Chandler walks back to couch, where Janice is.)
Chandler: Janice. Hi, Janice. Ok, here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. Janice.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm cool. Casual.
Chandler: I'm fine.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Chandler: Oh, my god, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know, a million?
Chandler: How do you do that?
Chandler: I'm not fine. Here she comes.
Chandler: We should always always break up together.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
Chandler: I'm free! I'm free!
Rachel: Where's Chandler?
Chandler: ...He's in.
(Chandler runs by the window outside, joyous.)
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Chandler: No, ten o'clock.
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Aurora: Chandler?
Chandler: They got a breakfast buffet.
Chandler: Hey, kids.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone else is there as Chandler enters.]
Chandler: We talked 'til like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less.
Chandler: Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
Chandler: Oh, so you're divorced?
Chandler: Who's Rick?
Chandler: Oh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is?
Monica: Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)
Chandler: ...Hm.
Chandler: Ethan? There's, there's an Ethan?
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
Chandler: Y'think?
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.