words in movies
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Charlie: Oh, hi. I'm professor Wealer.
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: (hitting Monica with his suitcase) (to Charlie) We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.
Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?
Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Ross: (to Charlie) Oh, it's not over!
Charlie: Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting".
Charlie: Oh my God!!
Charlie: Let's ditch him!
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry.
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Joey: (to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya! (Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)
(cut to Ross and Charlie)
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Charlie: Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.
Charlie: Yeah...
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Charlie: A guy who won two.
Charlie: Yeah... for three years.
Charlie: (smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy.
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Rache: How is it going with Charlie?
Phoebe: Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe Phd.
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?
(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Charlie: You blew them away!
Charlie: Oh, well, we can go see the Chronos Quartet at the Avery Fisher Hall.
[Scene: Central Perk. Some time later that day. The group has left and Charlie is there when Ross enters.]
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!
(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)
Charlie: Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Charlie: Umh... Kurts Baley?
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not!
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Charlie: Yeah, it's fun (hesitating).
Ross: (recovers his composure and starts typing) Respectfully, professor R. Geller. (hits <return>, closes the laptop and joins Charlie on the sofa) Hey!
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
Charlie: Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
Rachel: Beefsteak Charlies?
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
Chandler: Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.
Chandler: (into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
Second message: "Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Charlie: Oh, you know what? I'll come with you!
Charlie: No, no, no, not the Mets, the MET, singular!
Charlie: I'm good!
Charlie: Hi!
(somebody knocks the door, Joey opens and it's Charlie)
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Charlie: The museum!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Charlie: No, we went to the left.
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Charlie: Hi!
(Charlie walks in.)
Charlie: The museum was amazing!
Charlie: Hey!
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Joey: (to Charlie) You're ready?
Charlie: Not so much, no. He had clearly memorized all the stuff to say, and some of it didn't even make any sense.
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true.
Charlie: I'm sorry, what?
Charlie: From... Cosmo??
Charlie: (while Joey's giving her a massage) Oh! That feels sooo good!
[Scene: Central Perk. Charlie, Joey and Rachel are on the couches]
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something.
Charlie: Oh, yeah! Let's do it!
Joey: (to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)
Charlie: We'll see you, guys! (she goes)
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Charlie: You've seen all the movies...
Charlie: Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else!
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
Charlie: I'm sure you have better things to do.
Charlie: If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.
Charlie: So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions?
Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and Charlie on the couch. Rachel enters]
Charlie: See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out.
Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?
Phoebe: So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?
Phoebe: Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?
Charlie: Oh! trying on clothes.
(Phoebe moves in the dressing room from which Charlie went out)
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Charlie: (smiling) Rachel... I heard you guys whispering.
Charlie: Wow!
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Rachel: (to Charlie) Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been?
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go?
(Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs)
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
Charlie: There's a third guy?
(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)
Charlie: Wow! This place is beautiful!
(Charlie comes out the bathroom)
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Charlie: I will if you will.
Charlie: But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic.
Charlie: Yeah!
Charlie: So you'll be ok?
Joey: (to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!