words in movies
[Scene: a NYU lecture hall, the scene is continued from earlier, only Ross has dismissed the class and is now talking to Monica and Rachel.]
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Ross: Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Teacher: (To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again!
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Teacher: You don't observe a dance class. You dance
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
[Scene: A Tap Class, the girls are standing at the door.]
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.
Chandler: Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Joey: Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, thats why I let people watch.
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Monica: Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean youre not the only ones on your honeymoon!
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Janine: Im gonna be really late for dance class!
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today!
Ross: After one class? I dont think so.
Ross: Its a great class.
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Elizabeth: I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Ticket Agent: Oh, let me see what I can do. (Checks the computer) There are some first class seats available.
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Lydia: Arent you in my Popular Culture class?
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.]
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Rachel: You took the same class twice.
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Chandler: Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory!
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.