words in movies
[Scene: A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Monica and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed.]
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Teacher: Lights please? And thats having a baby. Next week is our final class.
Teacher: You don't observe a dance class. You dance
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
Teacher: (To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again!
[Scene: A Tap Class, the girls are standing at the door.]
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.
Chandler: Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, everyone has finished baking a batch of cookies and the teacher is going around tasting them.]
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.
Joey: Just now, after acting class. At first I thought she was doing some kind of scene, thats why I let people watch.
Joey: Yeah, they do! Quit being a baby and leave me alone! There, youve just had your first class!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Monica: Yeah! You already got the first class tickets; you got the lounge! I mean we should get free stuff too! I mean youre not the only ones on your honeymoon!
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Chandler: Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.
Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Janine: Im gonna be really late for dance class!
Joey: Uh, no, shes at dance class.
Ross: Its a great class.
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today!
Ross: After one class? I dont think so.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Phoebe: Whats a Movement class?
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Elizabeth: I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
Elizabeth: Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Ticket Agent: Oh, let me see what I can do. (Checks the computer) There are some first class seats available.
Lydia: Arent you in my Popular Culture class?
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
[Scene: N.Y.U, Ross is teaching a class.]
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Ross: Yeah! I-I teach it in my class.
Rachel: you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
Chandler: Hes not snoozing, hes teaching a class.
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Rachel: You took the same class twice.
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross and Chandler enter.]
[Scene: Class of '91 reunion. Ross is walking angrily towards Chandler, who is talking to two other guys.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is telling Rachel about his class location predicament.]
Ross: Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each others hometowns? Why dont you (Motions that they should learn everyones hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-whats going on?
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
[Scene: N.Y.U, Rosss new class, this time hes actually about to do a lecture.]
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Chandler: Yeah, ok. I'm sure that doctor's office can't be worst than on a class trip to the Hershey's factory!
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)