words in movies
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
[Scene: Casting Director #1s office, Joey is on his first audition. His partner is an 8-year-old boy.]
Director: Lose the robe.
Director: That would work.
Director: (on phone)...Dammit, hire the girl! (He hangs up the phone.) Okay, everybody ready?
Director: No, that was clenching.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Casting Director No. 1: That's fine, thank you.
Joey: I kn-I know! I know! Okay? And apparently tomorrow when I go in to meet the director I have to take off my clothes so that they can see what my body looks like.
Casting Director No. 2: Next. (Joey walks onstage)
Casting Director No. 2: Name?
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
Director: Lovely, just lovely.
DIRECTOR: Cut.
Joey: Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.
Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
DIRECTOR: Cut.
DIRECTOR: Cut.
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Director: Okay, and listen don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
The Director: Joe. Hows it going?
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
Director: Ah Joey. Joey Tribbiani. Listen Joey, I got a problem, I just got a call from my dance captain, he's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
The Director: You guys make me fly! High! Okay, were gonna pick it up here, tomorrow.
Director: Have fun.
Director: All right, let's do it!
Director: No, no, no. What was that?
Director: Well, people!
The Director: Yes?
The Director: You ready to go?
The Director: (leaning in) Kate?
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Stage Director: This will be your phone.
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
The Casting Director: Sure. What?
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
The Casting Director: I think we've seen enough!
The Casting Director: Okay, anytime.
The Casting Director: Hmm, noodle soup.
The Casting Director: Okay. Let's do it again.
The Casting Director: All right, let's try one.
Casting Director #2: No.
The Casting Director: Y'know what? We need to move on.
The Casting Director: Is there a problem?
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
The Director: Uh sure.
The Director: Action!
The Director: Cut!!!!!!!!!! (Joey starts screaming again.)
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay, Raymond, Joey you're up.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
Casting Director #1: Oh my God!!
The Director: All right, from the top.
The Director: And Action!
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
The Director: All right! Lets try this again! You ready Joe?
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Director: (To Cameraman) Make sure you get this, theyre gonna want it for the bloopers show. (To everyone) Alright cut! Listen up everyone, when we start again its gonna be the countdown to new years, so I wanna see everybodys excitement.
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.
The Casting Director: Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Director: OK, everyone gather up.
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Director: Okay, everybody hold!
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Director: Oh no! You get up there and do that again exactly like that!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Director: Cut!
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Director: Really, ythink so? I dont..
(The director shakes his head.)
Director: Whats going on over here?
(The director pushes the Tall Guy away)
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
Director: Alright were back! Ten seconds left here we go! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven! (He continues to count as we hear Joey think)
[Scene: Joey's audition, the director has returned and wants to see the combination.]
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Director: Uh, yeah. Now you guys dance over there, you guys over there, and I want you two right around here, and everyone else spread out.
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
Joey: "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex just looks at him and the director motions for him to continue so he tries it again.) "Take could care of your Momma son." (Alex does nothing.) "Come on son! Your Mommas good people!"