words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Joey: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Ross: Right! Right! I justI want you to know that Im going to be there through this whole thing, okay? Okay? The doctors appointments, the uh, the Lamaze classes, uh baby-proofing the apartmentAlthough we could probably worry about that til after we get married.
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Ross: Yeah. The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found an 'M' and an 'O'.
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.
Ross: Well, the doctor says he's gonna be fine, he's just sleeping now.
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Lydia: I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse, and a helper guy. (Joey smiles) So, did you see who won the game?
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
ERICA: Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore.
TV DOCTOR: You're the only one who can save her Drake.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldnt make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say Like me! Like me tiny doctor!
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
RUSS: You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
MRS. GELLER: A real doctor?
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
MONICA: Well, uh, he's a doctor.
[Scene: The Doctors office, Phoebe is giving a pep talk to the petrie dish containing the embryos.]
Doctor Connelly: Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
The Doctor: Hes doing just fine, hes resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Cliff: I dont believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are there as Rachel and Ross return from the doctors appointment.]
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Ross: Yeah, Im gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Chandler: The doctor.
The Doctor: (seeing theyre not identical) But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
[Scene: The Doctors office, Dr. Zane is examining Phoebe as Frank and Alice watch.]
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The-the on-call doctor will see me now.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Joey: Doctor? Wow! I didnt know he had a nickname.
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
The Doctor: Thats it.
Phoebe: Now, are you sure you dont want to go see a doctor?
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Phoebe: You mean like a doctor?
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isnt that different from giving birth to one.
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
The Doctor: No, Im getting three separate heartbeats.
Rachel: Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.
The Doctor: Definitely. (Points out each head on the ultrasound.)
Phoebe: Well, a palm reader, a manicurist, a hand doctor
The Doctor: (coming in from surgery) Somebody lose a ring?
(The doctor, Dr. Harad, enters.)
[Scene: The delivery room, Ross has returned with another doctor. This one, is well, younger.]
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Phoebe: Okay, doctor says any minute now.
[Scene: Joey's room, his doctor, Chandler, and Monica are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones!
The Doctor: It says here that the knife went right through your shoe.
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
The Doctor: What do we got here?
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)
Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)
Joey's Doctor: It's kidney stones.
The Doctor: Did you bring the toe?
The Doctor: You brought a carrot.
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
DOCTOR: No, it's just a good bone bruise. And, right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
The Doctor: Hi Rachel!
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
(Rachel heads for the door but is intercepted by the doctor.)
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
The Doctor: But, youre not identical twins.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
The Doctor: I'm Dr. Miller. Monica told me you were a little nervous, but don't worry everything's gonna be just fine.
Monica: Hey Rach, come on! We're gonna be late for the eye doctor appointment!
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
[Scene: Dr. Burkes office, Rachel and Monica are waiting as the doctor arrives.]
DOCTOR: Hello, there. I'm Dr. Carlin. I see someone's having an allergic reaction.
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, the doctor said that could be one of the side effects.
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.