words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. All except Chandler, plus Emma.]
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel�s. Ross phones, Rachel and Emma are there.]
Rachel: Okay, well that�s now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Rachel: Och, god. (seeing Emma) Oh, thank god, you�re okay. I�m so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again. Uch.
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Ross: Rach, c�mon, Emma is fine. You�re turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop.
Rachel: N-no, Emma dropped her sock.
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Rachel: Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry. Emma will totally understand. I won't... but whatever (She leaves the room).
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Ross: Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ...
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Ross: I know. (Rachel bends down to Emma and Ross looks over his shoulder again, afraid)
Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Rachel is putting Emma down for a nap.]
Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Rachel: Awe! (Emma laughs) Oh my God! Looks, she’s a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
MONICA: Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
Phoebe: Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog!
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
Ross: Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma.
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Rachel: Are you kidding? Eight hours with my mother talking about Atkins? Good luck, Emma!
Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA>
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
Ross: So unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me half an hour ago with Emma. (he tries to take a cookie but Monica slaps his hand)
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma is still crying.]
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Emma is sitting in her chair on the apothecary table and Rachel is trying to make her laugh.]
Rachel: Uh.... its Emma.
[Scene: Ross's apartment.Someone's knocking on the door. Ross rushes to the door and it's Rachel with Emma.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Monica to Emma: Hey you.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Ross: Emma.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Ross is looking at Emma as Phoebe walks up.]
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Ross: Look at Emma!
Ross: (noticing something) Actually umm (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Rachel: Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she wont take my breast?
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Phoebe, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are watching Emma sleep.]
Rachel: (enters with Emma) Hi!
(Emma starts crying)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
(Emma continues crying in the background)
Rachel: Ok. (Starts swinging Emma rapidly and she stops crying)
Chandler: (hears Emma crying) What is wrong with Emma?
Monica: Okay Ill take her, here. (Takes Emma)
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Ross: Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma.)
Chandler: Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict.
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Sandy sit on the couch. Sandy holds Emma. Ross enters the apartment. Sandy and Rachel wipe their tears away with handkerchiefs]
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Ross: Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap. (In the other room Emma starts to cry.)
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
<they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying>
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Ross: Emma.
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross is in the living room covering Emma.� Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
RACHEL: Aaah.� (She goes to tend Emma.)
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
RACHEL: (still looking at Emma) Yeah?
(Emma starts to cry)
Molly: No, you stay, I'll do it (takes Emma from Rachel).
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)
Molly: No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?