words in movies
Monica: What was it for?
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Rachel: Were paying for this yknow.
Rachel: Okay. Umm, what should we do for the theme?
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking if we had a a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
[Scene: A Casting Directors Office, Joey is entering for his callback.]
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Phoebe: Hey! Ive got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyones names in them and inside is everyones individual birth stone.
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Monica: For what?
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Cassie: Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
Chandler: Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?
ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200?
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
CHANDLER: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Chandler: Okay uh, for now, temporarily, you can call me, Clint.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. (He opens the door for her and she exits into the hallway.)
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Phoebe: Yeah no, Im telling you Rachel has such a great eye for this stuff. Ross, yknow if you ever decide you need to redecorateAnd I think that you should. You should, you should ask Rachel to help.
[Scene: The Subway, Phoebe is singing for change.]
Paul: (laughing) That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Fat Joey: Whats my little chef got for me tonight?
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
Monica: What for?
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Monica: And who pays for that?
Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard being on your own for the first time.
Monica: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him.
Ross: I assume we're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
Ross: (they shake hands) Hello, Susan. (To Carol) Good shake. Good shake. So, uh, we're just waiting for...?
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Phoebe: What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.
Barry: Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
Barry: Well, thank you for giving it back.
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is helping Joey rehearse for a part.]
Rachel: (leaving to serve others) Good for me!
Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in my case, there was only one woman- for her...
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Joey: Do you have any respect for your body?
Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Chandler: Well, its not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Yknow? Youre doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if youre in there, could you pass me my credit card?
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]
Joey: Oh, you're fine, yeah, for a first job.
Phoebe: in Reservations at 8:00 by Neil Simon. (To an imaginary Neil Simon) Thank-thank you Neil. Thank you for the words. (Blows him a kiss.)
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Chandler: Were doomed. Okay, theyre gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Phoebe: I've had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea. He's not so smart.
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
Rachel: Monica, what is so amazing? I gave up, like, everything. And for what?
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Joanne: Alright. Let's talk reality for a second.
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Rachel: (She turns around very slowly, looks at him for a second and then turns back to her coffee) Sure. (She gives him the cup she was pouring for herself without looking at him)
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
(Chandler sees Phoebe breaking up with Tony. She talks to him for a few seconds, hugs him, and then he leaves. Chandler is amazed how easy it was for her.)
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Joey: Oh, yeah, yeah, listen for it.
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Monica: Good for you, Joey.
Monica: For what?
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well?
Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!
Chandler: Well, y'know, most women would kill for three guys like us.
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Joey: Y'know, I've done nothing but crappy plays for six years. And I finally get my shot, and I blow it!
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]