words in movies
[Scene: The Mr. Bowmont (Joeys boat), shes shown to be in one of the waterways around New York, but in reality shes in a sound stage on the Warner Bros. lot and we see New York from the water in some rather poor green screen shots. Rachel and Joey are on board.]
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Dr. Green: Whats TiVo?
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Melissa: (Gasps when she notices Rachel) Oh my God! Ray-ray Green?! (Screams)
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Ross: A green LeSabre?
Dr. Green: Its chicken.
Dr. Green: Oh come on! Dont be such a baby! (Goes after him)
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
(Dr. Green exhales in relief.)
Phoebe: Rachel Green? (angrily) Son of a bitch, she came back?
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Dr. Green: Thats true.
Dr. Green: Are you really pregnant?
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Dr. Green: What?!
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
Dr. Green: I dont believe this!!
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
Dr. Green: You did!
Dr. Green: Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?!
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
Monica: You like Green Bay?
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Ross: Im sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Green Bay.
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Dr. Green: I just called a friend of mine.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Dr. Green: How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Joey: Im sorry, youre right. What am I gonna say? (He takes another sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh!
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Mrs. Green: Well all right. Ill see you at four.
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Mrs. Green: Oh, hello Monica.
Mrs. Green: I just had the greatest idea! Im gonna come live with you!
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Mrs. Green: Such a sweet woman.
Mrs. Green: Oh Rachel!
Mrs. Green: Oh youre gonna do that ten times a day?
Mrs. Green: Well, I kinda did. Me. Eight weeks of me.
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Mrs. Green: Oh look.
Mrs. Green: (entering from bathroom) Hi Ross!
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Mrs. Green: Of course I am!
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Green: Well Rachel needs help with the baby.
Mrs. Green: Did I say garage? I meant garbage.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Mrs. Green: No dear, thats what babies do.
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Mrs. Green: Darling, thats a breast pump!
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Chandler: Ok. First of all, this is green!
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Rachel: (opens the present, it's a green scarf) Awww, awww, it's beautiful.
Chandler: Oh, well someone left this (shows a green jacket). This is yours?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is watching football, and its actually the right game Green Bay at Detroit (although not this years), as Monica is getting everything ready.]
Dr. Green: Ill never understand you lesbians. (To Rachel) So baby, tell me what is new with you.
Dr. Green: What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Dr. Green: You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! Im gonna kill you!!
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Monica: Are you freaking kidding me, Green?
Ross: That money is mine, Green!
Dr. Green: What are you doing here, Geller?
Dr. Green: Ooh, I have a little heart attack.
Ross: (to Dr. Green) Hey! I offered to marry her!