words in movies
Gunther: Rachel?
Gunther: When's your birthday?
Gunther: Oh, I-I'm just making a list of people's birthdays.
Gunther: Yeah, whatever. (Walks away)
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
Phoebe: (singing) Platting goats are platting. Platting down the street. Platting goats are platting, leaving little treats. (to Gunther) Does it even work without my sexy voice?
Gunther: I like it. (sneezes)
Phoebe: Gunther, kiss me.
Gunther: What?
(Phoebe grabs Gunther and kisses him. He then falls to the couch in shock.)
Gunther: Rachel?
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Gunther: Well, we kissed. I-I-I didn't initiate the kiss, but-but I also didn't stop it, and I've been feeling guilty.
Gunther: So umm, are we cool?
Gunther: I knew you'd understand.
(Gunther walks away, leaving Rachel with a `What just happened?' look on her face.)
Joey: (turns round again) seriously Gunther you should see someone about that cold, if it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared)
Gunther: Jij hebt seks met ezels. (Translation: You have sex with donkeys.)
[Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is serving a nearby table.]
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
[From the background we hear a crash and Gunther comes running out of the back room, pushing people aside, reaching for Rachel.]
Chandler: (banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. Ive decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
Gunther: Dont wink at me. And put on your apron.
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross rushes in.]
Gunther: You are no longer authorized to distribute birthday muffins.
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Gunther: (placing a cup in front of Ross) Heres your warm milk.
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Chandler: (ignoring him) Yes, Gunther, can I get two cups of chino, please?
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
Ross: Oh, thanks Gunther. (He takes it, hands the plate it's on to Rachel, sets it down on the table, and proceeds to pound it into oblivion while saying.) STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!!
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
Gunther: What if you put them here. (sets the empty tray on another stack of empty trays on the back counter.)
(Gunther goes up to the guy and holds a sign that reads, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.")
Chandler: (excited) Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?! Monica: (shocked) Really? (She looks around, suddenly embarrassed) Let's get past the moment. Phoebe: What's your news? Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising. (Everybody cheers) Monica: (hugging Chandler) Oh, honey, that's incredible! Phoebe: (inquisitive) Gosh, what's the pay like? (Everybody stares at her indignantly) Oh, come on people (defending) come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! (She looks at Joey) Hey Joey! (Joey winks at her) Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship. Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'. Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the same except less sex with you. (Joey nods) Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there? Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like. Phoebe: (enthusiastic) That's great. Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating (At the same time, Gunther puts down a cup of coffee in front of Chandler) Chandler: (grinning awkwardly) Humiliating and noble! (Gunther shoots a nasty look at him while leaving) Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising. Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?" Ross: Yes, I did, I did! (He turns to Joey, disappointed) I should have written it down!
(He exits and starts to walk away, passes a window, stops, and says "Rachel?!" again. Joey sighs and turns around to face Gunther.)
Gunther: (bringing Rachel a mug) Rachel, I made you a cocoa.
Phoebe: How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night.
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Gunther: ...and after youve delivered the drinks, you take the empty tray....
Gunther: Ezel. (Translation: Donkey)
Ross: (disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!
Chandler: Gunther, can I get another cup of coffee, please? (Gunther starts to pour him another cup.) So uh, what do you do when youre not working here?
Gunther: (handing them the bill) Here you go.
Melissa: I-Ive got to go. This has been so great Ray-ray! (Gunther returns with her cigarettes.) Oh, there you are. (Takes them from Gunther.) (To Rachel) Umm, so listen, just call me. Heres my card. (Hands the card over.)
Joey: Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
GUNTHER: There you go.
Gunther: Youve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!
Gunther: I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.
Gunther: Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit. (hands Chandler back the cigarette.)
(Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the couch alone working on a crossword puzzle. Gunther is there, going into the back room.]
GUNTHER: Lemonade? You ok man?
Gunther: (entering with the cat) I just came for the red-velvet pillow.
GUNTHER: Yeah.
(Shes interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of braking dishes. Followed quickly by another crash. Everyone turns and looks at the back room, as Gunther emerges.)
Gunther: Hes getting married tomorrow right?
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
CHANDLER: I think you played the Gunther card too soon.
ROSS: Alright, that's it. I've had enough of this, alright. Gunther, these guys are trying to take our seat.
GUNTHER: I um, was sorta thinking about maybe...
GUNTHER: What?
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the party continues with Rachel leaning on the counter as Gunther walks in carrying candy.]
Gunther: Oh, like you dont already have everything.
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
Ross: Hi Gunther.
Gunther: Yeah, well see!
Ross: (to Gunther) Thank you.
Isabella: (to Gunther) Um, coffee to go, please.
GUNTHER: Um [gestures to dance floor]
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
[cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.]
Gunther: Rachel has those in burgendy.
Gunther: Its all right. Sweetheart.
GUNTHER: Fellas, these guys were here first.
Gunther: Rachel?
Gunther: Rachel?
Gunther: You dont need to fill these silences.
Rachel: Gunther, I quit.
Gunther: You would think.
Gunther: (to Monica and Phoebe) Hey guys.
Gunther: What?!
Gunther: Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular.
Gunther: (to Chandler) Someone in there?
Gunther: Someone in here.
Gunther: Let it be me! Let it be me!
(Gunther walks up)
Gunther: (to Chandler) Oh, no-no, no-no-no, theres none of that in here.
Gunther: They already do. Thats why they call it the tray spot.
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Gunther: Im sorry. Was I not supposed to?
Gunther: Are you all right?
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
Gunther: Here you go.
[cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.]
Rachel: Gunther, Gunther, please, Ive worked here for two and a half years, I know the empty trays go over there. (points to the counter.)
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Gunther: Sorry. She thought you were somebody else.
Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Joey: (entering) Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?