words in movies
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
[A monkey jumps on the desk and hands the guy a beer. He opens the beer and is suddenly on the beach, in a hammock, with beautiful women all around.]
Agency guy: Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica.
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
Joey: Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah.
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: Well of course I do! But yknow, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean youre up against the guy who survived his own cremation.
Phoebe: Come on! The boss that fires a guy thats just been dumped, bitch! And the woman who dumps a guy thats just been fired, blond bitch!
Rachel: Ohhh well. Yknow what honey? The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else. Oh! There is this great guy you will love at work named Bob! Hes a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
Monica: What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)
Rachel: No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Erica: Well, there is a chance it's another guy. I mean, I have only ever been with two guys, but they sorta overlapped.
Monica: (entering and interrupting the guys escape attempt) Okay! The movers will be here in 11 hours. Rachel has not packed. Now, everybody has to help! Chandler, were gonna start with
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
Store Guy: All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready?
Second Dorm Guy: Put your balloons down!
Joey: Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, its a great part. Look, check it out. Im the lead guys best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. Im sorry, that seats saved.
Monica: Ross, just forget about it. This guys got you totally wedged in.
Charity guy: Please, take the check, go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together.
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
BIG BULLY: Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
GUY: I'm talkin'!
[A guy is sitting at his desk and his boss comes in and drops a huge pile of papers on his desk. The guy looks dejected.]
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Ross: I can't believe this. I was just being a good guy. I treated you with respect and understanding.
Phoebe: Yes you do! This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much youre probably gonna marry it! Then it wont work out and youre gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy. (Pause) Im so drunk.
Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
Rachel: Ugh. (To another customer that's leaving.) Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there? (Hands him the coffee pot.) Go ahead. (He does so.) Thank you. (To the gang.) Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
Chandler: You mean the guy who kept staring at your chest?
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy?
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Guy: Bakersfield.
Rachel: Just a touch. Mon, I don't understand. I mean, you've been dating this guy since like, what... his midterms? I mean, why all the sudden are you so... Oh.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
[Ross goes over behind the guy and grabs the pie out of his hood as he leaves]
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, lets poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, were approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Guy: Bakersfield!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
Agency guy: I'll go check your file. Excuse me.
Joey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Phoebe: No reason, its just I know a single guy that cares about other people.
Monica: Hey, see that snippy guy over there? Hes the one who decides who gets up on the platform. We should go dance by him.
Chandler: A tall guy with hair similar to mine, oh unknowable universe!
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Dina: Bobby Corso, but hes a real nice guy. I like him a lot. Hes real funny.
Coma Guy: Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.
Phoebe: I just wish there was something we could do. (Bends down and talks to him) Hello. Hello, Coma Guy. GET UP, YOU GIRL SCOUT! UP! UP! UP!
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
Chandler: Oh yeah. First off all, chasing the Churo guy isn't jogging.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
Chandler: So, what does the other guy do? Does he go to college too?
Ross: Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke.
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
Carl: I'm just sayin', if I see one more picture of Ed Begley, Jr. in that stupid electric car, I'm gonna shoot myself! I mean, don't get me wrong... I'm not against environmental issues per se.... it's just that guy!
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Helena: (standing at a table and asking the guy sitting there) Where are you from?
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Ross: but you, your so much better off you just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terns into anything serious.
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Monica: No sweetie, youve got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! Youve got to kiss some serious robot ass!
Rachel: Oh. Im sorry. Im very sorry. Sorry. (She hums and sighs happily.) Its just, Im ahh, Im kinda excited. Im, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... (He puts his headphones on to ignore her.)
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.