words in movies
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
[Scene: the 5th Precinct, Gary's precinct, Chandler has come to talk to him about commitment. And as he's walking through the door he notices a couple of "Ladies of the night" sitting there. (If you know what I mean.)]
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow!
Rachel: She has the drugs!
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Chandler: But nothing has to happen until your ready.
Chandler: Okay and he hasnt proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger.
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Rachel: Oh my God! How long has she been crying?
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Monica: That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Monica:: yeah he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend
Monica: Hey. Okay, I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go!
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict.
Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
<they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying>
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
The Teacher: Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's office, Rachel has come back again to try and do that second interview.]
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
Receptionist: This has been torn up.
Chandler: Why dont you use ours across the hall, cause she has problems.
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".
Ross: Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie.
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Monica: Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Ross: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know?
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!
RACH: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . [jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.]
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Monica: Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks!
JOEY: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea.
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Ross: Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach?
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
Joey: Mornin Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been canceled.
(Meanwhile the race has been won by Phoebe's bear, followed by Joey's robot)
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Monica: Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city.