words in movies
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow!
Rachel: She has the drugs!
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
(They stop when they see Ross who has to struggle to get out of the bed.)
Rachel: No Ross! Ross! Ross! My child has no father!
Chandler: But nothing has to happen until your ready.
Chandler: Okay and he hasnt proposed yet because she has no ring on her finger.
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Rachel: Oh my God! How long has she been crying?
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Monica: That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Monica:: yeah he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend
Monica: Hey. Okay, I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go!
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict.
Roy: No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Joey: (Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
<they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying>
Ross: (getting up) Tell me about it. (He sits up on the edge of the bed and has "Just Married" written on his back.)
The Teacher: Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Joey: (taking the baby) She looks so real! (The gang looks at him.) Yknow what I mean! Shes this whole tiny little person. She already has eyelashes and knees and uh-oh.
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Joey: (sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?
Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.
Ross: Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.
[Scene: Mr. Zelner's office, Rachel has come back again to try and do that second interview.]
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Chandler: Why dont you use ours across the hall, cause she has problems.
Joey: Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.
Receptionist: This has been torn up.
Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
Chandler: No. But uh, Joey has, and I usually talk to them in the morning time.
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Evil Bitch and Sick Bastard are gone and Ross has just finished talking to a nurse as Rachel stands and stretches.]
Monica: (Holding a shirt in front of Ross.) Okay, maybe this will make your teeth look less white. (Ross has a big smile.) Nope. Okay, colors that dont work are blue, yellow, green, red, black, white, orange, and purple.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Ross: Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie.
Monica: Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.
Ross: (reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know?
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, I’m sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Joey: (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
RACH: Oh my God. Oh my God Ross, no, hang up the phone, give me the phone Ross, give me the phone, give me the phone, give me the. . . [jumps the couch and lands on Ross's back, finally getting the phone from him. Ross has a confused expression on his face.]
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Monica: Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks!
JOEY: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea.
Ross: Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!
Ross: Oh. Thanks. Uh, has anyone seen Rach?
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Joey: Mornin Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been canceled.
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Monica: Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city.
Joey: (he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!
Phoebe: oh, well, Ross probably has it, you can get it from him later.
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
(Meanwhile the race has been won by Phoebe's bear, followed by Joey's robot)
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.