words in movies
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Monica: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? I'll-I'll have toast!
Ross: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Rachel: So from that you think you've got me all figured out? Well, you don't! Y'know I-I could have toys for underprivileged kids in here!
Phoebe: Oh good! Because we have an "I'm sorry" song.
Monica: Hey, look at you! Where have you been?
Rachel: Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny.
Joey: RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!!
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Larry: Oh, will you mind if I wash up? Because I came straight from work and who knows where these babies (Holds up his hands) have been.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Chandler: Oh, believe me, to survive this party, you're gonna have to come up with one too.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Joey: Uh no, not really. It's an independent film y'know? So we don't have a real big budget. I figured I'd just stay in your room.
Michelle: All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable?
Chandler: Im sorry, Im sorry, it just seems that Robert isnt as concealed in the shorts area, as ah, one may have hoped.
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Chandler: Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Clunkers. Yknow, for you, and (Clears his throat) I left the door open and she must have gotten out and I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof, which FYI Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed. I couldn't find him, and I am so, so, so, sorry. But I do know where we could all go ease the pain. (Points up and then over to the street)
(Rachel laughs a little too hard as Ross and Jill leave for their date. After they have left, Rachel starts to break down.)
Joey: Yeah, but uh, I dont want to be up too late, so uh, Ill have a decaf.
RUSS: Oh, all she said was that I remind her too much of somebody. You have any idea who she's talking about?
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Monica: Yeah. I think you have to draw him out. And then- when you do- he's a preppy animal.
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
Monica: (Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
Ross: Y'know, I think they have those at that British pub near the trade center.
Chandler: That's a good thing actually, because ah, he used to have me rehearse with him.
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Phoebe: well you not what you should feel terrible about, this could have been my serious guy he was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Joey: Actually, you have a little bit of an edge.
Joey: Okay. Have a benefit.
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Chandler: You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room do you?
Phoebe: Hell, Im drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I cant have a mimosa with breakfast?! Im on vacation!
Monica: Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you'd have a fight with someone you'd never be with anyone longer thanOhhh! (They both realize something there.)
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Tony: We dont have 50 bucks, but would you be willing to trade for it? Weve got a canoe.
Ross: Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. (He opens the door and stops.) Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
CHANDLER: Right now, right here. Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa [Susie grabs him under the table] They do have the shrimp.
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product...
Monica: We thought since Phoebe was staying over tonight we'd have kinda like a slumber party thing. We got some trashy magazines, we got cookie dough, we got Twister... (The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
JOEY: Ok, um, uh, we three feel like, that uh, sometimes you guys don't get that uh, we don't have as much money as you.
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Phoebe: Youre in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Ross: Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Chandler: Look, you have done enough! Okay? You have to stop this now.
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
Vince: Uh yeah, I cant believe I ever went out with somebody who would actually have an open flame in the middle of a wooden area. (walks out)
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Ross: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
Dr. Leedbetter: There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.
Charity guy: Hey, it’s not my business, (he takes their check from a drawer) besides it’s probably a good thing. We really would have been spoiling the children, all those food, and warm clothing…
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
The Fan: I have no idea what youre talking about. But I, but I just got Phoebe Buffays autograph!
Ross: Well, we didnt have freedom here until 1776, either so
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Chandler: Yes! Good thing we have that, Not in New York rule.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Phoebe: All right. Im gonna go to the fertility doctor and um, see if Im ready to have Frank and Alices embryo transferred into my uterus.
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
PHOEBE: We have got to get you lazy boys out of these chairs.
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Mr. Geller: ...And I read about these women trying to have it all, and I thank God 'Our Little Harmonica' doesn't seem to have that problem.
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Danny: Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close with my sister?
Ross: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)