words in movies
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you.
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Joey: I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica.
Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
Joey: (to himself) That's the fastest I have ever thought!
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike.
Chandler: But honey you don't have to.
Joey: (voice strained) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
Mike: I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up.
Monica: We're all sorry... (They have a group hug)
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Rachel: Do I have my own castle?
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
Rachel: Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?
Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: I have nothing to do with casting.
The Interviewer: Now youll be heading a whole division, so youll have a lot of duties.
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Monica: Boy, do I have a surprise for you!
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Ross: Yeah Pheebs, come on, you two have completely different styles. Y'know, shes more..(shakes his shoulders, like hes dancing) y'know, and youre more (sees the look from Phoebe and stops)
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Rachel: Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you!
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think were ready to have a baby now?!
Julie: Have you felt Rachels cervix Ross?
Rachel: Well they have uh, some unusual pet names for each other. Including umm, evil bitch and uh, sick bastard. Oh God oh! Contraction!
Ross: Okay, stop it! I cant deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
Joey: Oh really? So, 33 and still single, would you say you have commitment issues?
Janice: Oh yknow what? You have to speak very loudly when youre talking to Sid, because hes almost completely deaf.
Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it.
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Rachel: Well, how can you be a tour guide, dont you have to be a dinosaur expert or something?
Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!
Dr. Long: Do we have a name yet?
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Chandler: Did you have a crush on me, when you first met me?
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Ross: Im sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, Im dying.
Phoebe: Yeah thats true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
Ross: What?! When have I ever touched myself in front of you guys?
Chandler: Well maybe you dont have to tell him anything.
Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you and Rachel?
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: Well we we dont have a garage.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
Joey: You know what you shouldve done, you should have told yourself that little story.
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
Parker: Rachel, you have life growing inside you. Is there anything in this world more miraculous thanOh a picture of a dog! Whose is this?
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go?
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
Sarah: Could you pull open the curtains for me? The astronauts from the space shuttle are gonna be on the news, and since we dont have a TV, the lady across the alley said shed push hers up to a window, so I could watch it.
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
Monica: Where have you been?
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
Monica:: how do you know I have one of those?
[Scene: The Fire Escape, Joey and Ross have reached the last landing. Joey is tugging on the ladder that extends to the ground, but it wont budge.]
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
Joey: do you have any cake?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.