words in movies
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Monica: Oh he's nice. He's nice! Y'know, you always stick up for the people we fog!
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Phoebe: I think he's right. You guys hang out at the coffeehouse way too much.
Joey: Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone
Joey: I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.
Charlie: Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.
Monica: Oh, I know! Umm, is it because he's always correcting people's grammar? Whom! Whom! Sometimes it's who!
Monica: Ohh, he's really shy. I-I dont think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Phoebe: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Ross: Celia, don't worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you! Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones! Marcel...
Monica: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
[Scene: The lobby of Ross's building, he's sitting on the couch at the bottom of the stairs, and he's practicing enticing women to join him on the couch.]
PHOEBE: Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades.
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
[Chandler's. He's playing foosball by himself.]
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity.
Rachel: I think he's stealing from me.
Joey: He's right, enough, already. What is the big deal about today? So you slept with her for the first time, so what? You slept with her for seven years after that.
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Phoebe: (Mike now enters and stands behind Phoebe) Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't get me wrong. No, he's not in like a sissy way. No, no, no... when he gets going, he can rattle a headboard like a sailor on leave...
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person.
Chandler: Well, if he's gonna break up with you, maybe Joey and I should water his plants. If y'know what I mean.
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Phoebe: Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked.
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Rachel: Yeah, they said he's gonna be fine, but he's still heavily sedated.
Rachel: Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.
Rachel: Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Joey: All right, I'll give you this, Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. I mean he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Dr. Rhodes: He's good with rear things, bring him in too.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out.
[Scene: Outside Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross is knocks on the door and Ugly Naked Guy answers it. He's ugly. He's naked. And he's holding a huge jumbo soda.]
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Rachel: Oh, right. Sorry. But Tag's not coming; his girlfriend came into town, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her.
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Rachel: Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.
Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down.
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
CHANDLER: I know.� You're right.� I want to see you too.� I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know?� He's really looking forward to this.
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room in Tulsa. He's fast asleep when the telephone rings.]
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
Rachel: He's not stoned.
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Chandler: Yeah, he's better!
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's unpacking after moving in. There's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...