words in movies
Rachel: He offered me one.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
Chandler: I know. *He* always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic.
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Ross: Oh, nothing, it’s just, it’s close to Ron. Does he.. Does little Ross like dinosaurs by any chance?
Mr Zelner: Yeah, they're all he talks about, why?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Ross: He’ll be fine.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Mr Zelner: (Takes a long look at the egg while he considers it) Wow, that's pretty cool (Takes the egg from Ross)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He walks in reading his mail, and plays back his messages on the answering machine]
Joey: Oh my God. (Still in shock when his mobile rings, he picks it up) Hello?
Phoebe: (on the other side of the line, still pretending to be Estelle) Joey, it's Estelle. (Joey's eyes bulge up, he looks afraid)
Janice: Although, maybe just... one last moment of weakness... (she kisses Chandler flat on the mouth. Chandler squirms. When she's finished, he looks at her lovingly but uneasily.) Goodbye Chandler Bing. (She leaves)
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Ross: (picks up a skull of some carnivore from his side table and puts it in the same bag in which he brought the pterodactyl egg to Zelner) I'm sure he'll understand.
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Phoebe: ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Paul: Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
Monica: Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.
(He closes the door again. Once again, Rachel knocks (harder this time) and he answers it.)
Joey: (covering his ears and yelling) Oh no! No! No! (He starts banging on the door.)
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Monica: Well, do you think he was waiting 'til after you left, so he could cry?
Rachel: Well, apparently he scares easy.
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow.
Ross: Oh, you guys call him Cute Coffeehouse Guy, we call him Hums While He Pees.
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Ross: Maybe hes just jumping on a pogo-stick and really likes it?
Ross: Right? And this! (He picks up a trophy) She-she couldve won this!
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Phoebe: Yeah, hes gotta go.
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
David: July. Umm, (He speaks Russian.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Ross: From you? (He does a weird desperate laughter, like he's almost crying) Yes, please!
[Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monicas side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells ]
Rachel: I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend hes Alan Alda.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Monica: Hes gonna eat the cake!
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Phoebe: Ohh, he left his cell phone.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Rachel: (looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! Hes got Barneys on his speed dial.
(He starts chasing her around Rachel a couple of times before she runs into the living room and he tackles her on the couch where he starts tickling her.)
Rachel: You do know that I will be here when he comes over.
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
Rachel: Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)
Joey: That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what hes been drawing.)
(He goes to turn off a machine. Suddenly, Dr. Drake Remoray appears at the door with two cops!)
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Phoebe: All better! Back to work! Except this clown from research told me I was fired. He should do his research, huh?
Rachel: Ben, its Rachel! (He closes the door.) But whatever.
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Monica: Its almost 8 oclock, its almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Chandler: Sorry, I just dont like the idea of when I say, "I do," hes thinking, "Yeah, Id do her too!"
Phoebe: He could be in disguise, yknow.
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Monica: Really? (Looks.) My God, hes really cute.
Phoebe: Hes alive! Hes a-live!!!
Monica: And did he?
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Phoebe: (yelling back) I miss you too!!!! (He walks away.)
(He goes into his room and closes the door. Rachel goes to pick it up and )
[Scene: Rosss Classroom, he is writing on the board and Alan is coming in to see him.]
Lewis: Hes got a girlfriend!
Ross: Well thats different! Okay? Because he, he was actually in love with me!
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Chandler: And that doesn't scare you? (He walks out)
Monica: No Joey! Chandler could be your assistant! See, he could answer all of your fan mail and stuff!
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Ross: (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger Ill be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)
Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets. Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning. (he gets up and goes into the kitchen)
Rachel: All right? (He sets the award down.) Thank you.
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Roy: All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Monica: Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, um, I couldn't sleep, thinking about it. So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it?
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sisters teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isnt right.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Ross: Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)
(The crowd goes wild as he puts the ring on her finger. They hug and kiss this time as an engaged couple.)
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Chandler: Can you people not see me?! (He waves his arms around to get their attention.)
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
Ross: Well, he said there's definitely nothing to worry about, it's totally benign.