words in movies
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Mr. Heckles: Whaddyou want?
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
Mr. Heckles: Saw Regis Philbin once...
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Mr. Heckles: You owe me a waffle.
(Mr. Heckles opens the door)
Mr. Heckles: What about it?
Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.
Mr. Heckles: Potassium.
(There is a monkey-like noise from within and Ross pushes past Mr. Heckles and enters his apartment)
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey. That's Patti, Patti the monkey.
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Turns to Mr. Heckles)
Mr. Heckles: That's my monkey.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
CHANDLER: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.
(inside Chandlers apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Mr. Heckles: Er, yeah, it's mine.
Mr. Heckles: Yeah, it's my cat. Give me my cat.
Mr.Heckles: I could have cats.
Mr.Heckles: See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
MONICA: Mr. Heckles.
MONICA: Hello, Mr. Heckles.
JOEY: Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
MR. HECKLES: You're doing it again.
Mr. Heckles: Mmm. Bob Buttons. Here, Bob Buttons.
PHOEBE: Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!
CHANDLER: Funniest? Heckles?
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
MR. HECKLES: I could have birds.
MONICA: Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.
MR. HECKLES: You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds.
Mr. Heckles: (as Phoebe and Rachel leave) You owe me a cat.
CHANDLER: Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
Phoebe: No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: He told me in person.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: Youre disturbing my oboe practice.
(There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
Rachel: Oh. (they knock at the next door, Mr. Heckles answers) Hi. We just found this cat and we're looking for the owner.
Mr. Heckles: Ehhhh... B-Buttons.
CHANDLER: Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)