words in movies
(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
Tag: (entering from her room) Hey.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! Shes coming!
(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Chandler: (correcting her) Phil.
Chandler: Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) youre doing great. Youre doing great. Youre doing fine.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
Tag: (handing his to her) This ones from me.
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
Ross: (interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!
Tag: Wait! I think I see where youre going, but before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing? (Kisses her.)
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Ross: Ehm... Her name is Emma.
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Joey: But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we’re getting rid of her.
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Rachel: Yknow I cant even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I cant believe how much I love her, I cant get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her.
Ross: Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child.
Ross: (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
Rachel: (not excited anymore) You pierced her ears!?
Rachel: Nah, I don't really want her to see.
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
(Mike puts the ring on her finger)
PHOE: Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. [hugs Chandler but holds her hands apart behind his back] Oh, can't make.... hands... meet....
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Phoebe: Why, you don't like her?
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Monica: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"
RACHEL: That is not a tattoo, that is a nothing. I finally got her back in the chair, bairly touched her with a needle, she jumped up screaming, and that was it.
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous!
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
(She takes her hand off Erica. Ross enters the room)
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Rachel: Yes I can! (pushes her back again)
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
Rachel: Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR!
Rachel: Okay. Okay, see now the one with the feather boa? Thats Dr. Francis. She used to be a man. Oh look! There(Marcel (Katie) jumps away)Okay. (And runs behind her on the back of the couch for a little while.)
Phoebe: It’s ok, it’s ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wedding (she covers her mouth)
Joey: You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
Amy: She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
Joey: LAURA! (and points to her, very confident)
Rachel: No! Wait no! Shut upI mean dont cry! Let me get my checkbook! (Grabs her checkbook and runs after him.)
Ross: Well, not right now. Okay look, Monica came here for some memories and damnit, were gonna give her some! Okay, grab grab some empty boxes. Okay? Well-well take stuff from mine and whatever we can pass off as hers well-well put em in their.
Emma: Wo-ish. (and holds up her finger)
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
(Rachel comes out of her apartment}
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Charlie: Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...
Monica: Okay? (She starts to walk which causes her to start crying) Ooo wee! Christmas party in my boots! (Runs into the bedroom and mixes saying ow with laughing.)
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Phoebe: Fine, I'll give you her number.
Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape?
Rachel: (looking into one of her shopping bags) Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
(He goes into another room to get his projector and notes. While hes gone, Jill quickly checks her makeup.
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. (walks away again, but Chandler catches up with her again)
(She leaves the room, but Chandler runs after her. They meet in the hallway.)
Monica: (overlapping) Let her finish, doctor.
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Phoebe: (glancing at her) What?
Phoebe: (patting her bag) I got them!
Phoebe: So, should we tell her?
Rachel: Oh, look at her, so happy!
(they all look confused and sorry for her)
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
(Rachel goes to hug him but Ross is holding one of her hands and doesnt let go, so she can only put one arm around him.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica’s nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Chandler: (looks over at her) Sure, nice.
Ross: Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out?
Chandler: I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Ross: Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.