words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is filing her nails as Ross and Ben enter.]
Chandler: Sorry, I just dont like the idea of when I say, "I do," hes thinking, "Yeah, Id do her too!"
Monica: Well, were trying to find someone to perform our wedding and theyre all either boring or annoying or yknow, cant stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
Monica: Hexadrin. (She gets the box out of her purse.)
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Ben: (jumping up from behind her chair) Gotcha!! (Rachel jumps up startled.)
Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
Ross: Whats her last name?
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Rachel: Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake!
Cassie: (noticing her) What?
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Joey: Hey Rach. (Stares at her.)
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Chandler: Math!! Youre giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, well see who gets her.
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
Ross: (interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!
(The casting director shakes her head.)
Man: (stopping her) Wait a minute!
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Ross: Please don't take her away from me!
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)
Rachel: (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
(Monica and her parents walk up.)
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Phoebe: Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that hes changed his name, yknow? Tell Monica Im sorry.
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Ross: No, because she hasnt come home yet. And she hasnt been home all night! Shes obviously staying with that other guy, and Im the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment!
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Rachel: All right, weve got to tell her hes gone. (Starts to leave.)
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
(Monica enters wearing her wedding dress.)
(Ross just glares at her.)
[Scene: Outside of Elizabeths dormitory, Ross is exiting after breaking up with her and we can hear his thoughts.]
(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)
Chandler: You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
(She turns to get her vows from Rachel.)
Wendy: Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? (She gets hold of Chandler's tie, slowly moving her hands upwards on the tie, getting closer and closer to him, seductive.)
Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one timenot any more. I justI...
(The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath.)
Phoebe: Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.
Courtney: (laughing) I spit on her!
Joey: Pheebs! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! (Hands her one.)
Monica: Op, can I just tell you something? Very flattered but umm, Im engaged. (Points to her ring.)
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Chandler: Because youve only known her for six weeks! Okay, Ive got a carton of milk in my fridge Ive had a longer relationship with!
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
Phoebe: Oh my God! So was she! And! Get this, okay? Your-your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl, P-Earl.
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Woman: Oh hi, Im, Im Mona from her restaurant.
Mona: Really?! Well see? I never knew about her.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Chandler: Well get rid of her, obsessive and shrill.
(The dry cleaner just stares at her and she retreats.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.]