words in movies
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Monica: Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just (Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it) throw your purses at it.
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
Joey: No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin closer.
Phoebe: Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Phoebe: Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)
Chandler: I confronted her, and she didnt deny it! (Pause) I dont live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)
(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)
Chandler: All right, maybe I should call her.
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
(They all go over to her apartment.)
Chandler: Im saying that she is a devil woman! Yknow I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I dont hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Rachel: Okay. (Mrs. Green helps her up and they walk over and get some tea.)
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Rachel: No. Okay. I was at the airport, getting into a cab, when this woman- this blonde planet with a pocketbook- starts yelling at me. Something about how it was her cab first. And then the next thing I know she just starts- starts pulling me out by my hair! So I'm blowing my attack whistle thingy and three more cabs show up, and as I'm going to get into a cab she tackles me. And I hit my head on the kerb and cut my lip on my whistle...oh...everybody having fun at the party? (To Monica) Are people eating my dip?
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Monica: Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
(Mrs. Green goes into the kitchen and Rachel follows her.)
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Rachel: Okay mommy, dont ever leave me. (Hugs her.)
(Monicas entrance makes Phoebe try to hide the ring by putting it in her mouth.)
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
Ross: Hi roomie! (Hugs her and looks at Rachel.)
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
Chandler: Because he was looking at her differently.
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Doug: Oh, my ex-wife didnt work, unless you call turning into her mother work. Fine. Tomorrow night then.
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Ross: Why? What was wrong with her?
Ross: I liked her.
Rachel: There was nothing wrong with her! All right? She was perfectly lovely!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
The Cooking Teacher: (tasting the cookie and with her mouthful) Oh, yum-yum-yum. (Hands the star back.)
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Phoebe shakes her hand and says: Phoe-Be.
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Phoebe: No ones here! (Monica looks at her.) Oh damnit!
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Rachel: Oh we just put her down for a nap.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Monica: (following her) Ill give you really good odds.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Rachel: Give her some money.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Sick Bastard: Honey I swear! I wasnt looking at her!
Evil Bitch: Are you looking at her?!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Rachel: You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Rachel: Okay, well then bring her in.
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.]
(Monica smiles to cover her embarrassment, but Rachel sadly looks away...)
Monica: What?! Come on I am tough! Punch me right here! (Her stomach) As hard as you can!
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
(Dr. Long hands her to Rachel.)
Rachel: Okay. Well be careful with her, shes really tiny.
Rachel: Here. (Hands her to Monica.)
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Phoebe: Ohhh. (Hands her back to Rachel.)
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Chandler: So, do you know what youre gonna call her yet?
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.
Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?
Ross: I didnt give her that ring!
Phoebe: But you didnt give it to her?
Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you you gave her the ring?
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Ross: Whoa! Hey! Whoa-whoa-whoa, you saw her breast?!
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Phoebe: You know thats thats her.
Rachel: Oh god look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much! Oh, I think Im gonna wake her up.
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?