words in movies
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors.
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, I see what he's doing! He's not asking me out, because he wants me to ask him out.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Ross: (glaring at him) Joey, please! (Motions to his computer.)
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Monica: We have a ladle. (Gives him one.)
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Ross: Oh my God! (Looking around, which doesn't take him long.)
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
(Just as they're about to leave, Gunther comes out of the back carrying two garbage bags. Larry sees this and stops him.)
Larry: Well, I suppose I could give him a warning.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Rachel: No, I have to go downstairs and come back up as if I'm coming home from the regatta gala. Okay? So just go distract him. But don't be sexy.
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try."
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
(He tries to get up again and starts falling backwards and Chandler catches him.)
Phoebe: Alright, whadyou do with him?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
Monica: Tell him.
Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
Monica: Just...please tell him.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!
All: ...No, we hate him.
All: Yeah. Hate him.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
pain as Monica grabs him underwater)-Diet Coke.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Rachel: Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
Joey: Services? (Ross looks at him) Oh, services.
Joey: How could you lose him?
Ross: Absolutely. (Turns back to the woman next to him.) So, twins... hah! Thats like two births. (He struggles again.) Ouch.
Rachel: Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldnt take it.
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Joey: Hey! No! Get your France-going-arms away from me. (He walks out, and Rachel follows him)
(He swings the pen hard, and it snaps back and almost hits him again.)
(Rachel glares at him.)
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Rachel: I love him. Hes so pretty I wanna cry! I dont know what to do. Tell me what to do.
Mindy: Yeah... I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
(Ross gets up and goes over to the counter and Joey follows him.)
Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.
Phoebe: Oh, Im so sorry. Um, and maybe Im wrong! I butyknow Im gonna go out with him again, Ill find out more.
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross and Joey hear him. Ross and Joey both notice at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at them.)
Chandler: Out of my league. I could get a Brian. (Brian enters behind him) If I wanted to get a Brian, I could get a Brian. (Sees him) Hey, Brian.
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Ross: Are you not seeing him anymore?
Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.
Ross: I'm smarter than him!
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Monica: No, I haven't seen him.
Phoebe: Where? (Turns to face him) Ooh, come to Momma.