words in movies
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with him!
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I'd let him check out my kitchen floors.
Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
(Chandler goes into the bathroom, closes the door, and then opens it again right away. Ross looks up and hands him the toilet paper Ross already packed.)
Ross: Actually that-thats not true, in The Incredible Hulk uh, No. 72, Dr. Bruce Banner found (Sees everyone staring at him and stops.) Yknow, ugh, nevermind, my girlfriends a lesbian. (Leaves.)
Mike: ...kiss him?
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, Monica would freak. (Doug looks at him.) But to hell with that bitch.
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
[Scene: Chandler's office in Tulsa.�� His assistant is showing him photographs.]
Cecilia: (to him) Im having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?
MONICA: So, you lied to him?
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.
JOEY: I heard him again!
JOEY: (outside the apartment door) I just heard him!
CHANDLER: (softly) Can you . . . hear him . . . now?
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Eldad: Im a little embarrassed. (Chandler shushes him.)
(Joey gives him and odd look.� Monica gives a similar look.)
MONICA: It's gonna be so hot!� (She kisses him.)
Rachel: Oh my God! I bet thats him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! Its Rach (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachels hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Wendy: So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Mike: Better think of a new name for him.
Chandler: You don't trust him?
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Monica: You were just being so nice to him!
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
Larry: Well, I suppose I could give him a warning.
Phoebe: (realizes) Ooh, maybe that's him!
Monica: You kissed him?
Monica: I thought you hated him?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is dancing around his living room as Phoebe enters, catching and startling him.]
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
Joey: (dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Rachel: Noooo... look, all I know is that I cannot wait a week until I see him. I mean, this is just too big. Y'know, I just, I've just gotta talk to him. I... I gotta... OK, I'll see you later. (opens door)
Rachel: Yeah. Ahh, heres a box of your stuff. (hands him a box)
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
(Monica looks at him.)
Ross: Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
PHOE: Look, I, y'know, I don't mind taking it slow, I like him a lot, y'know he's really interesting and he's really sweet and why won't he give it up?
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
Chandler: everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, and she knows what he was doing so she looks at the TV and sees sharks swimming around thinking Chandler was giving himself a treat to sharks.)
(She's getting closer to him, the scene fades to black.)
Ross: Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Rachel: Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.
Monica: (stopping him) Sit down! Were winning!
Ross: wow, are you still going to move in with him?
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
Rachel: Joey... are you sure? I mean, I know how much you love him!
Rachel: All right... Oh, Emma loves him!
Phoebe: Yes. Definitely! Yes! Let's live in an apartment that we both live in! (Hugs him.)
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Phoebe: I just like him so much that I just feel like Ive had 10 drinks today and Ive only had six.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Joey: No, sorry haven't seen him.
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Rachel: Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so much.
Joey: How do you think I got him in the first place?
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
All: (subdued) Yay! (He motions for them to keep quiet, including Chandler who is still holding the lamp Ross handed him, before he goes off to talk to Emily in private.)
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
Ross: I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives. (they press their ears against the door)
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
(Rachel glares at him)
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
(Rachel comes out of her room and starts staring at him unseen)
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!
Joey/Drake: You don't love him!
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
(the actress slaps him)
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.