words in movies
[Scene: Chandler's office in Tulsa.�� His assistant is showing him photographs.]
CHANDLER: Joey just called.� He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
MONICA: So, you lied to him?
JOEY: (outside the apartment door) I just heard him!
CHANDLER: (softly) Can you . . . hear him . . . now?
JOEY: I heard him again!
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
MONICA: I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
(Mike leaves.� Ross closes the door behind him.)
(Joey gives him and odd look.� Monica gives a similar look.)
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
MONICA: It's gonna be so hot!� (She kisses him.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm here. (Hands him one.)
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Monica: Okay! (She takes her present for him and they move over to sit on the couch.)
Ross: It-itThe point is my natural charisma has made him fail his midterm.
Erin: Bye Joey. (Kisses him.) Last night was fun.
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Ross: Get him! GET HIM! Get him! Get- YESSS! Not laughing now, are ya pal!
Dr. Rhodes: He's good with rear things, bring him in too.
Mr. Geller: I understand completely, theres nothing more horrifying than embarrassing yourself in front of your in-laws. As a matter of fact, when I started dating Judy I was unemployed, and her father asked me what I did for a living and I told him I was a lawyer.
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Monica: Oh! Why didn't you tell me? I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Joey: (interrupting him) Don't do it!
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Phoebe: Okay, but you cannot tell him... but look whose back!
Rachel: Ohhh! Well of course I will watch him! We have fun, dont we Ben? (He nods yes.)
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Rachel: (hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?
Rachel: Okay, you just go on and make your little jokey-jokes, but if you do not know what you are doing out at sea you will die at sea. Am I getting through to you sailor?! (She punctuates each word by slapping him on the forehead.)
Monica: Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
Phoebe: (seeing him) Oh, hello liar.
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Monica: Betrothed (Corrects him)
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Chandler: Give him money? It was a joke!
Phoebe: Hey! (she sits down next to him)
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Ben: Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)
Joey: (To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!
Ben: (answering him) Eight whole days.
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Hey, yknow you could always visit him.
(The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Rachel: What handsome is not your type? Smart? Kind? Good kisser? What those things arent on your list? Ross is a great guy! You would be lucky to be with him!
Chandler: Well, did-did you correct him?
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Monica: No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what theyll say this year? "God, you"
Monica: Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)
Ross: Yes, yes it is. Its uh (Aunt Millie uses this opportunity to grab Ross and kiss him on the lips. After she leaves Ross quickly wipes his mouth with a napkin.) Every time on the lips! Why?! Why on lips?!
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
[Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.]
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
[Scene: The Reception, Joey is helping Ross walk after Gert got through with him and Mona is looking on concerned.]
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Rachel: (panics, turns around, picks up the phone, and pretend to talk on it) Hello?! (Listens) Oh, yeah! (To Tag) This is gonna be a while. Excuse me. (Tag leaves and she closes the door behind him, disgustedly.) Yeah!
Phoebe: Why dont you hire him as an actor? You could have him dress up and put on little skits. Whatever you want.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
Joey: Yep. (Starts for Monicas room, but Chandler stops him.)
Rachel: No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Frank Jr.: What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!
[The next flashback is from The One With Ross's New Girlfriend. Chandler is telling Ross and Joey that Joey's tailor took advantage of him.]
Tom: Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)
Monica: What about the second minister we meet with? I kinda liked him.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
(Ben starts to go, but Ross stops him.)
Ross: Okay, Ill see you soon buddy. (He hugs and kisses him.) Be back in an hour.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what do I, what do I do with him?
Monica: Can you blame him?
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Cecilia: (running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that youre a better Jessica than I ever was!
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him youre moving out?
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
(Ross glares at him.)
Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car.
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
Phoebe: Because youre marrying him!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Ross: Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.
Rachel: I didnt. I got under him.
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.