words in movies
Monica: How are you doing?
Rachel: How are you?
Ross: Wow! Sorry. So uh, how are the new people?
Man: Oh yeah? Howd yours happen?
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Rachel: Just tell me how.
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
Janice: (laughs) Look how nervous he gets! We havent slept together in years! (Laughs again.)
Ross: You have no idea how much this hurts. (All of the women in the room turn and glare at him.) Keep going! Keep going!
Janice: Hes a keeper. How are you feeling?
Rachel: Ive just been thinking about how my baby and I are gonna be all alone.
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
MR, GELLER: Wait, how do you zoom out? [zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich] There she is.
Rachel: Ohh, okay, how about five. (She hands her all the credit cards.) Ohh, thank you.
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
JOEY: But I was Dr. Drake Remoray. How can I go from bein' a neurosurgeon to drivin' a cab?
Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Phoebe: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Rachel: (voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this?
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
Rachel: (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
PHOE: Yeah. Oh, OOOH, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was soooo wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were soooo bombed,' or, ummm, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.'
Rachel: (angrily) No! All right?! I did not see the bird! I did not see the fish! I did not see the piece of Styrofoam that was shaped like Mike Tyson! I did not, because I was trying to teach you how to sail a boat! Which obviously is an impossible thing to do!
JOEY: Uh, Pheebs, how long do you think this lady'll be with us?
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Uhuh... Yeah...!, you know. And given my life long search for irony, you can imagine how happy I am.
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Phoebe: How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night.
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Joey: All right, my New Year's resolution is to learn how to play the guitar.
Ross: (entering) How we doing, you guys ready?
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
MONICA: It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean I was a chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries?
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
Will: Sure! Monica, I cant get over how great you look! You look stunning!
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
MONICA: There's no man in here.� How dare you accuse me of that.� (She slaps Chandler.)
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Janice: Ah ahahahhahaa! How great is this!
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Rachel: Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Phoebe: Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So hows the game?
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Ross: Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel.
MNCA: [disgusted, trying not to show it] I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.
Larry: Great! How about you wanted to go the Italian place down on Bleaker Street right?
Monica:: do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that, believe me I know what he was doing.
MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
Phoebe: You're welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.
Ross: Well, how about this year, instead of Santa, we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Rachel: Howhow did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! (She hits Chandler again.)
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Phoebe: Okay. Wait, do you know how youre going to stall her?
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Joey: Well if its free food, how come youre charging me for it?
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
Mr. Geller: Wait, how do you zoom out? (zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich) There she is.
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
PHOEBE: Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernies at 9 oclock?
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
Chandler: But wait a minute though, how are we gonna get there, though, because my Mom wont let me cross the street.
Chandler: So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
Joey: Oh, it was great! Yeah, I-I walked her home, and it was amazing how much we connected, y'know? Then ah, then she passed out, but then she woke up. Yeah? And we stayed up all night talking, and now were like totally crazy about each other!
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Phoebe: (answering the phone) Hi Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Ross: Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So Im gonna show her how tough I really am!
The Interviewer: So umm, now back to the show. How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?