words in movies
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
ROB: Hi. I'm Rob Dohnen.
LIPSON: Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
LIPSON: I'm sorry Mr. Geller. But ya know, there's an old saying, 'Sometimes monkeys die.' It's not a great saying but it certainly is fitting today.
LIPSON: I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture.
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ROSS: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
JOEY: I'm not Drake.
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
ROB: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, I'm ready.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
SECURITY GUARD: I'm sorry guys, closed set.
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
RACHEL: OK, I'm doin' it for ya.
VAN DAMME: You don't think I'm cute?
CHANDLER: OK, then, eat me, I'm done.
PHOEBE: OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
CHANDLER: I'm hangin in. . . and a little out.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
CHANDLER: Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties.
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
PHOEBE: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
Monica: I know, I know. I'm just so tired of-of missing him. I'm tired of wondering why hasn't he called. Why hasn't he called!
Monica: I'm guessing your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Rachel: Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
MONICA: I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
David: Damn it! I-I'm sorry. I-I don't mean that. I-I want you to be happy... But only with me. No, uhm... that's not fair. Uh, who cares, leave him!. Oh, I don't mean that. Yes I do... I'm sorry Uhm, I... I think I should probably uhm... go...
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Joey: (slightly irritated)I'm not really comfortable with these questions!
Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Ross: I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...
Monica: Sorry! I'm justI'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.
Rachel: Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Monica: Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
Maitre d': I'm sorry. That's always mr Campbell's table.
RACHEL: Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Ross: No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's?
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Chandler: Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your Maitre D. friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to e-mail me at www.hahanotsomuch.com.
EDDIE: Well you guys, I'm outta here. See ya pals.
Ross: I'm still hungry!
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
Mike: (looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Chandler: (picking up a plastic cup similar to the one he deposited his specimen in) It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
JOEY: I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. [Chandler puts the tape in]
Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
CHANDLER: Well, I'm, I'm sorry...[Eddie forces his head in the door] Ahhh. Have we met?
David: Well, I'm back from Minsk... permanently.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Joey: Marcel, I'm hungry.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Monica: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
CHANDLER: (hushed) No, no, no, no, no.� Joey can't know that I'm here.
Ross: This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Phoebe: I know, I know! I'm like playing the field. Y'know? Like, juggling two guys, I'm sowing my wild oats. Y'know? Y'know, this kind've like y'know oat-sowin', field-playin' juggler.
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Joey: ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again. I'm, uh, just trying something.
Rachel: Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor!
Chandler: You're right, by saying "nice" I'm virtually licking her.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
Joey: Well, I'm justif the paste matches the pants, you can make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won't know the difference!
Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out)
Chandler: I'm not saying it was a good idea, I'm saying I snapped!
Rachel: Ross! What are you I'm sorry sir. I just, I think he just really likes you.
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Rachel: Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Phoebe: I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
Amy: I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
Steve: Oh, come on, you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it. Bet that guy over there's probably saying, "ooh, why she out with him? He must be rich!" Well, I'm not!
PHOEBE: Um, I'm getting a lily for my Mom. 'Cause her name's Lily.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...
Charlie: Oh, hi. I'm professor Wealer.
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
TILLY: I'm looking for Eddie Minowick.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Monica: Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker!
Rachel: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, (pause) I'm still in love with you Ross.
Dan: Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school.
Phoebe: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
CHAN: Alright, OK, alright. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm goin' home.
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
Monica: Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend.
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).