words in movies
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Joey: I *love* my job.
Rachel: Yeah, I can't *wait* to go back to work.
Ross: I can't get *enough* dinosaurs!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.)
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster!
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Ross: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.
Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Chandler: I sent them home.
Chandler: I don't know!
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: I don't think so.
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Chandler: (realizing) I have *not* thought this through!
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
Chandler: I don't have a *job*!
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Monica: No! Wait! I think I can figure out the recipe from this cookie! I do stuff like this at work all the time.
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Jim: It aint no thing, Im wild too.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Rachel: Ah, I-I never should have said what I said. Ityknow what? It just doesn't matter how I feel. I mean we work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us, and what I would love is just to go to work on Monday, and-and never talk about this again, okay? Big day Monday lots to do. So, we're okay?
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: I know. I know.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Ross: Hey, whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me. Yknow, actually onceonce I got dumped during sex.
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, Im in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna do? Rachels all like, I love you and, and lets work on this. And all I can think about is, What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say? when I tell her what I did.
Monica: (To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Ross: (Looking at the posters.) Wow, cool poster. Or should I say groovy poster? (They sit down on the couch. Ross smiles and the black light fluoresces his teeth.) So, ahh, where were we?
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: Ah, actually, Im sorry we-we probably should get going.
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
Mona: (entering, with her date) I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
Rachel: I, uh, think you already are.
Rachel: Yeah, otherwise Im not going.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Ross: Im so we werent in the car! Did he ever let up?
Joey: I know
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Monica: I feel terrible.
Ross: Oh the bands ready! And wellI-Iwe gotta do what the band says, right? I dont care about the stinkin band!!
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Phoebe: No, Im fine. Im great. Im with you.
Parker: I wont quit until you try.
Parker: What are they like? Ive never had one.
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Aunt Lisa: Ill bet you looked beautiful
Ross: Oh! ...Yeah, they were gross. Oh, you know what I loved? Her Sweet 'n' Los. How she was always stealing them from- from restaurants.
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time!
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Ross: And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!
Carol: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
Joey: Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative.
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, yknow she had such a terrible childhood.
Parker: I love games!
Parker: I must say this apartment, its, its, There are no words
Parker: I lose, now Jenga.
Ross: I told Emily to come. And I just need to y'know, talk to Rachel about it.
Parker: Im sorry thats who I am. Im a positive person.
Chandler: I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?
Ross: Thats all Im askin
Rachel: I will think about it.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Rachel: Ross! I just had a conversation with her, and she said that she and Joey made a deal!
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.