words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Monica: So, did I hear Poconos?
Rachel: I know...
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh)
Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, being naked?
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know!
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
Ross: Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Rachel: (taking cookie) Ok, thanks Pheebs (takes bite of cookie, overwhelmed) Oh my God, why have I never tasted these before?!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Ross: I think It's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
Chandler: I know!
Rachel: I need some milk.
Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!
Rachel: Pheebs, if I had never met him this never would have happened!
Rachel: I don't know...right, he's the pig!
Rachel: (voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this?
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, to say good-bye.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
Ross: (pulls Monica back) ...and I really think it should be me.
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Rachel: No, I know, I know, and I'm sure your little boy is not going to grow up to be one.
Ross: Wha-I'm having, I'm having a boy! (babbling) Huh, am I having a boy?
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Monica: Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen!
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Joey: Thank God! Im exhausted!
Rachel: Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Phoebe: I wa-I wa-I wa
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Mrs. Lynch: I know!
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it!
Mrs. Lynch: I didnt realize that she was so close.
Sophie: I sure did! (smiles)
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Ross: Im sorry Im late, did I miss anything?
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
Joey: I call Monicas room!
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Rachel: I ah Oh! Ill squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning!
Ross: (getting miffed) I suppose.
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
Ross: Im kinda beat.
Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
Rachel: So, will I like any of these guys?
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmers bodies!
Monica: You want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Monica: Man, I feel like Im coming down with something.
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?
Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!
Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review.
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Kate: Well, I dont understand why Adriennes attracted to Victor.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Chandler: Im not Jewish, so
Ross: I wasnt sleeping.
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! Im a relative and I didnt get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
Chandler: I know! I know!
Chandler: I did! I absolutely did!
Chandler: Oh, man. Im sorry, Im so-so sorry.
Chandler: Im sure youre right, but why?
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Monica: Well if you want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Chandler: I can't believe she can out run you man!
Joey: No, I had sex in high school.
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
Chandler: Well, you-you know what I meant.
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
RACHEL: I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
Ross: Well, the stuff I just mentioned.
Phoebe: I know!
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Monica: Yeah, like youre gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant.
Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, Im gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Drew: I didnt think you were gay. I do now.
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didnt know that you did pot.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Kitchen Worker: I dont speak English.
Tag: I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch by guys.