words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)
Maitre d': I know. With Gukki
Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
Ross: Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! (Mark looks at him strangely and walks off)
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: I hate that guy.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Ross: (whines) Oh thats great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Rachel: Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
MR. TREEGER: No can do, like I told the girl, I can't get a new knob until Thursday.
Ross: I dont care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game!
Rachel: Ross, no! There is no way I am leaving this room looking like this!
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Joey: Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! Youve got cotton, silk, lace! And yknow what Ive always wondered about?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long.
Phoebe: I know. Use it.
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Joey's Hand Twin: Do I know you?
Rachel: Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
MONICA: You go girl. I can't pull that off can I?
Ross: Ah, its good. Its going good. I mean, we get along great. Shes, shes so
Rachel: I bet 20.
Monica: Hey, guys, what-what should I wear to a Knicks game?
Monica: Okay, good! Okay, what do I want now?
Phoebe: Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.
Monica: That's right baby! Okay, what do I want now?
Monica: Oh, that's because I had lunch with RichMe neither! Okay, what do I want now?
The Potential Roommate: Oh dont worry, Im not really a party girl.
Ross: I don�t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
Chandler: Okay, okay, I tell you what. You roll another hard eight; (pause) and we get married here tonight.
Monica: I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
Danny: Hey guys, I just uh, wanted to invite you to the party tomorrow night.
Monica: I think so too.
Rachel: (entering) You guys, youre never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole! (Shes holding a flyer.) Look kinda familiar?
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Ross: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! (Hugs him.)
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Phoebe: Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!
Ross: I wanna get out of the room! Y'know, I I really miss downstairs.
Chandler: Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
Dr. Franzblau: I don't know, could be an hour, could be three, but relax, she's doing great. So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?
Phoebe: I won! I won! I finally won!
Phoebe: Im so jealous youre all going! I cant believe I never knew that you cant fly in your third trimester!
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Chandler: I don't think so.
Rachel: Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that.
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Ross: Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! (Exits.)
Rachel: Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Didn't I just throw you out of here?
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Ross: I'm taking my time, alright? I'm laying the groundwork. Yeah. I mean, every day I get just a little bit closer to...
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
JOEY: Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza. But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff, is it cheaper?
RACHEL: Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Joey: I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Rachel: (in disbelief) You WHAT? And I missed it? Because I was giving a makeover to that stupid hippie?
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Cop: Yeah, but I kinda don't have a choice, it's my job. I mean, you understand right?
Joey: I dont know how to lead.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Rachel: Oh! I remember laughing! I laughed a lot.
Ross: Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!
Joey: I dont need that anymore.
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Phoebe: Oh Joey, Im so sorry. You want some of my breakfast?
Joey: Where is the waitress?! Im starving!
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
Phoebe: All right. Although I dont think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Phoebe: Good! Good! I was just testing you.
Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved.. basically it's entirely up to me.
Monica: Yes I do!
Ross: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
Rachel: I thought I was making him filet mignon?
Ross: IThey would not let us get married when we were that drunk!
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: I know I love you! (They hug.)
Chandler: I dont know. But I-I-I know I love you!
Ross: No-no, thats-thats not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack?
Joey: Really? I dont
Chandler: �Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.� So you just touch yourself for anything?
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!