words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)
Maitre d': I know. With Gukki
Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
Ross: Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! (Mark looks at him strangely and walks off)
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: I hate that guy.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica: Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Joey: Great! All right, so Ill call you later.
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Phoebe: I wanna hear "The Sound."
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
FBOB: I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. [they hug]
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Chandler: I could die.
Rachel: Oh well then, so Im just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Chandler: I thought your time ran out.
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
Joey: Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize.
Kathy: I forgot my purse.
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Phoebe: Oh no, Im not playing tonight.
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Chandler: I sure did.
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know.
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
Joey: Didn't I tell ya? Always showin' off.
Phoebe: I think maybe, yeah.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Chandler: I kissed Kathy.
Frannie: Oh, I hate you, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So? Who?
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Rachel: I know, I remember that!
Chandler: Yeah, I know.
Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Monica: I remember you did.
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
Chandler: Its me. Im the other guy.
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, you should play in public!
Chandler: Look, Im sorry! But theres nothing I can do, I think Im in love with her!
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Phoebe: Yeah, but I-I-I-I can do that for you, Im gonna do that for you.
Chandler: Y'know what, I can handle it, handles my middle name. Actually its the ah, middle part of my first name.
CHANDLER: I got the time to get to know Julie.
Ross: Yeah, like I could lose it.
Phoebe: After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help.
Ross: I played bad on purpose guys.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Peter: Were not throwing it away! I built that canoe! (starts to leave as Tony chases after him)
Joey: All right, Ill take a box of the cream filled Jesuss.
ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.
PHOEBE: Ohh, ok, I see what you did there. Aren't you afraid though, that the writers are gonna be kinda mad when they read this?
Monica: Oh, yknow what, I cant, it really kills.
Kathy: No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher.
Chandler: No, actually I meant my fingers. Look at 'em, look at how happy they are.
Monica: Like I remember his office number! (Pause) Speed dial 7.
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Ms. Lambert: Hi, Im Karen.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Joey: No! Im putting that in my room.
Rachel: Why don't you just marry her? Oh no, wait a minute you can't, I'm sorry I forgot, she's not a lesbian.
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}