words in movies
Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over.
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm.
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Rachel: I haven't seen you in like.. a year.
Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed.
Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um.. I had a baby.
Amy: I decorated Dad's office.
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
Monica: I know, after you left the store, I chose different ones.
Joey: I.. I.. I need a good lie.
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Joey: I do not.
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Rachel: Amy! <pause> Yes I do.. I really do. <grabs Ross' hand for support>
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Ross: I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD.
Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys.
Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi.
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Ross: You know, I think thats a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis.
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond.
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby?
Amy: Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Joey: I can't believe I won.
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby?
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Joey: I lie better then that, right?
Chandler: So.. let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me?
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well.. You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done.
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
Rachel: I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail.
Rachel: Heey man, I work out.
Amy: So do I.
Rachel: I do pilates.
Amy: I do yoga.
Amy: Uh, yeah I think I did.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Ross: So, so now do I get Joey?
Monica: uh huh.. I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died.
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
Rachel: Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that.
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Rachel: Well, Phoebe that’s fine because I’m not moving.
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Rachel: Well y’know, I don’t want you to be cold.
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Chandler: I know.
Joey: You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
Monica: I know.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Ross: I love this. (he got a sweater)
Chandler: What did I marry into?
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Chandler: (looking around) Did I go to this school?
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Monica: What? You bet Id lose a nail?
Chandler: Totally. I had sex in High school...
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Chandler: I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
Chandler: Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact.
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Gene: Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.
Monica: Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Missy: Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot!
Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!
Rachel: No, no, no... No, I mean... se-x-u-ally...
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Ross: No-no! Ill-Ill (He takes too much and some falls out of his mouth, which starts him laughing.)
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Joey: (To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
Joey: (out of his Monica character) Very good! Drawing on your own experience, I like that!
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Ross: I didn't.
Chandler: Oh please, and you knew how much I liked her.
Ross: I don't know what... you're talking about.
Monica: I KNOW!
Monica: I clunked your heads together!
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Chandler: O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
Ross: (looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Rachel: I am sooo drunk.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now?
Rachel: (still searching) Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you.
Adrienne: Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Chandler: I know. Gooooood luck with it.
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Joey: (sympathetic) Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words.
Joey: Dude, dude! I think you're losing it.
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed?
Rachel: Im great! Im great. Ive got a great job at Bloomingdales, have wonderful friends, and eventhough Im not seeing anyone right now, Ive never felt better about myself.
Chandler: What did I marry into?
Monica: Because! Shes my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! Were family yknow? Well thats important to me.
The Hot Girl: No, I-I actually thought it was unfair the way everyone reacted. I mean you had just moved in.
Rachel: (on the phone) No, no, no, Im looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... (listens) What does it matter, what Im wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? (listens) Thank you. (to Sophie) Were holding.
Mike: All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself". Coming up next we've got Monicasinging "Delta Dawn".
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Ross: Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that?
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
Ross: I wanna say it's not looking good.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
Phoebe: Oh! I though the pot stickers were supposed to be vegetarian!
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.