words in movies
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Rachel: Barry who I almost.
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Rachel: No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.
Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!
Chandler: I can't believe we are even having this discussion.
Joey: I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Monica: Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.
Rachel: Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Rachel: Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!
Luisa: Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room!
Luisa: You have no idea who I am, do you.
Luisa: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?
Luisa: I could... but I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine. (Leaves)
Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?
Woman No. 2: Did I put too much rum in here?
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...
Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.
Ross: Alright, I want my monkey.
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Rachel: Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Barry: I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.
Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.
Joey: I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.
Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.
Joey: Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
Joey: Ohh, then no. Maybe I should hear those specials again.
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Joey: Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli.
Phoebe: (checking her watch) Yeah, Im very wise. I know.
Joey: You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.
Joey: A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldnt schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Phoebe: Oh, I wouldnt miss this.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
David: Well, Im very glad youre here. (Kisses her hand.)
Rachel: You think I trust you with it?! No! Were gonna split it! You take half and I take half!
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Chandler: All right, Ill pick that one. (Points.)
Phoebe: Sure, yeah, no I can do that, yeah, because umm, y'know, the muscles in the siadic area can get yknow, real (lifts up the towel) nice and tight. So umm, tell me Rick, how umm, how did you injure the area.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Frannie: I believe you know my husband.
Phoebe: Are you sure? Ill bet theres another flight to Minsk in like
Phoebe: I do too. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.
Joey: Anything I can do? Whatever you need.
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Monica: Oh wait I forgot my wrap.
Joey: I can give it a shot.
Monica: Oooh, I wish she could stay here, but Chandler is allergic!
Rachel: Oh I dont-I dont know.
Rachel: Well forget it, Im not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility.
Rachel: Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?
Chandler: (with a quivering voice) No, Im not!
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Rachel: Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
Whitney: Well, I went over to Kyles last night to pick up a few things and we got to reminiscing
Carol: Oh no. I thought you said they could shoot the spot without you.
Gunther: Well, we kissed. I-I-I didn't initiate the kiss, but-but I also didn't stop it, and I've been feeling guilty.
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
Joey: (annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.
RACHEL: Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it.
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Kori: We weren't but we had one class together. He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science. I always remembered him.
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)
Ross: I cant believe this!!
Chandler: But I love swing music!
Monica: Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
Chandler: (Pause) No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Tag: Rach, Im sorry, but you didnt give me any contracts!
Monica: Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I wouldve said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriends such a wise assseven!"
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Joey: (jumping up and removing the bandages) Im back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
ROSS: Oh, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. Sorry. Sorry! Hey! Hey! I got my s's back! Which we can celebrate later. Celebrate.
Ross: I thought that was just a rumour.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Joey: I can't believe I won.
Chandler: Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And theres another reason too.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
Tag: How could I have left them in the copy room?
Tim: I moved back here a couple of months ago.
Ross: Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Chandler: I dont want to say.
Monica: Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!
Monica: Okay, Im up! Im up!
Chandler: I dont care, this is our apartment! And they stoleyou stole itour apartment, and we won that apartment fair and square, twice! And I am getting it back right now. Im getting back right now!
Ross: I-I uh, I got tricked into all those things!
Tag: I did not!
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Rachel: (to Monica) Sorry!! (to Ross) I just feel bad about all that sleep youre gonna miss wishing you were with me!
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!
Ross: I would say that.
Joey: I think face to face.
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.
Rachel: Well, yknow I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Ross: (deadpan) Well, Im going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations man.
Rachel: Im sorry, Rosita? As in
Rachel: Oh good God! Ive fallen down! (She trips and falls.)
Chandler: Couldnt I just say, "This is Ross?"
Monica: (entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section