words in movies
Rachel: I didn't know there were docks.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.)
Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)
Chandler: Do I look fat?
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.
Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)
Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun.
Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it?
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you.
Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.
Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.
Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?
Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Phoebe: What are you saying I should do?
Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing.
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Malcom: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Malcom: Uh-huh, I don't know.
Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?
Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.
Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.
Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?
Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Joey: Ive got cold feet.
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Monica: No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! Were not at a barn dance. Youve gottayou wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?
Ross: Im sorry Rach, it was, it was really close.
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Phoebe: Really?! I won!
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: I just get mad when Rachel doesnt remember where were going.
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
Joey: No reason, Im just saying that uh Thats where Ill be.
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Joey: Boy I tell ya, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, so you're not a fan, but I mean, come on, you cannot do this to her.
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Chandler: I would really love it if could do both.
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Rachel: I am not gonna get fired, because Im not gonna act on it.
Rachel: I meant er, (struggling to concentrate) young, young, I meant young, young to be a doctor. Oh good, Rach.
Rachel: Yknow what? Thats a lot to remember, cant I just tell her youre a pig?
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Richard: I didnt ask. You wanna come in?
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) Im so sorry!
Ross: Okay, this is getting a little crazy. I mean, Im-Im sure it would be amazing but I gotta say I really-really dont think it would be a good idea. Yknow? I really, really dont.
Monica: Im fine.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Joey: (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or Im the one who dates her.
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Janice: (notices Monicas engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! Im blind!
Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people.
GUNTHER: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.
Ross: Well now lets-lets look at this objectively, I think I should date her
Rachel: Well Joey, I hate to admit it, your way of sailing is a lot more fun.
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Ross: Thats interesting, but check this out. I date her
Rachel: I know!
Joey: Yeah. Ill uh, Ill call ya.
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im sorry I just couldnt tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And yknow we got to talking and I
Rachel: Oh and Ill call ya too!
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
Joey: Look Im sorry you guys, I-I just dont think so.
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Rachel: Im sorry?
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, were straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if hes about to lose it.)
Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Ah, I thought Id find you here, Nasforatool.
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Joey: I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Joey: Listen, sorry I didnt stop by last night but I had a date.
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Woman: Im sorry, who are you?
Woman: Yknow, you look nothing like I wouldve thought. Youre youre so young.
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Ross: I am very very sorry.
ROSS: Joey, you owe $1100 at I Love Lucite.
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Janice: Please, its because otherwise I really dont know what I might do.
Joey: I want to make a ship to shore call to Chandler.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Ross: Look, Im sorry but you-you-you better go Pheebs.
ROSS: No, um, see 'cause that, that is, that is the staging area. If you go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. Yeah, I think you take your scotch back in there and I will get your cigarettes for you sir.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Rachel: All right, I got 48.
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Phoebe: Yes, and now hes using this three divorces reason because he wants to stay married to her because he loves her. I must say, "Well done!" Bravo Meg.
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Tag: When Im in a relationship, I love having a girlfriend.
Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy.
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Ross: Well sorry, thats what I do on dates.
Rachel: Well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know... you're food is so delicious and perfect, you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.