words in movies
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Joey: Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Joey: This is what Ive got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Gunther: Ill be there.
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
All: I dont have anything. (All of the rest of the women there hide their gifts behind their backs.)
Chandler: (banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. Ive decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
The Stripper: Wow, I didnt know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets.
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
The Stripper: Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night.
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
Joey: Dude, this isnt funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everythings cool! I wake up this morning, the strippers gone and the ring is gone!
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Im-Im sorry, I just thought that
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Monica: Im so glad you liked it.
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Monica: Wait, you cant have the baby here! I mean I havent sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Rachel: Okay. Its okay. Were gonna be okay. Yknow what? Its okay. Im gonna, Im gonna, Im gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!
Rachel: I dont know!
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
The Stripper: Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Rachel: I still dont get how you know when its false labour.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Phoebe: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
Joey: Im so worried about him, yknow?
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
Phoebe: Of course I can! Its just good sense to backup your backup! Look, Ive already lost Chandler!
Ross: (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Phoebe: I dont know why I was so nervous about this. And I dont know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is so easy.
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Terry: Im sorry Joey thats thats the way it is.
Rachel: All right, its okay. One little setback is okay, just dont let it happen again, all right? Now since daddy paid for all this stuff, I should take it all away. But Im just gonna take the-the pajmena. (Ross hands it to her.) And the uh, and the uh pants. Yknow what, Im just gonna take it all away, cause that way youll just really learn the lesson. Okay? All righty, Im gonna run a couple of errands and I will see you at dinner. (Leaves with all of Jills stuff.)
Joey: I want this part so much! Yknow? If I dont get this part Im never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!No, I didnt say that! Thats a lie.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Tag: I am?!
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Rachel: But I hired you!
Tag: I cant believe it!
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Rachel: Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. I mean God, by my sixth date with Paolo, I mean he had already named both my breasts! ...Ooh. Did I just share too much?
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
Ross: Oh Mon, I laughed so hard
Rachel: No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
Rachel: Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.
Rachel: Im sorry Joey.
Rachel: I Well, I dont think they need any help.
Tag: Right. So I guess I shouldnt put good at noticing stuff on my resume. (Sets the plant down on her desk.)
Joey: Yeah, yknow at first I thought we could talk about this yknow, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I dont think I
Ross: Im not going to do that. (Rachel glares at him.)
Ross: No!! Y'know-y'know dont do me any favours. In fact, where, wheres the rest of my stuff?! Huh? Like-like my umm, (picks up a book) Hey, this book is mine!! And-and-and, and that T-shirt you sleep in? Id like that back too. Yes, I do.
Phoebe: Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
Ross: Yeah in fact, Im gonna go call her right now. And Ill make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)
Monica: Ohh, Im sorry I couldnt think of anymore for Ross!
Richard: Wow. Y'know were back where we were. Honey, I would love to do all that, but nothings changed.
Rachel: No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-Iwould youactually, would you go check on that?
Tag: (shyly) Nobody. I was just practicing.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Rachel: Im so happy and not at all jealous.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. (Ross looks at her) All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, Ill love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Rachel: All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but Im telling you
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Terry: I cant help you Joey.
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
Tag: I dont think I should say.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Tag: Yeah. Did you tell someone that I was gay?
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
Tag: Id love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
Chandler: Sure I do. In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Lets take a second here and look at pigs. Okay pigs dont mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and thats just an ordinary pig not even a pig thats good at sports!
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Chandler: Yeah, Im not in that.
Ross: Great! Im across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Rachel: Hey, I thought that guy was married.
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
MONICA: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi--
Ross: Maybe I should open a divorced mens club.
Tag: I just did them.
Tag: Yeah, I filled them out last night?
Chandler: Could I play?
Monica: Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
Male Jeweler: Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up from his pocket.)
The Photographer: Im sorry, is the seat uncomfortable?
Chandler: No, I am.
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmothers? Wouldnt they have the recipe?
Monica: Chandler, listen to me sweetie, I know you can do this. Okay? You have a beautiful smile.
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Rachel: Yeah, I dont think so Joe.
Joey: Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
Phoebe: (entering) Have I gone deaf?
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight.
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Phoebe: Im having a really good time!
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Phoebe: Okay, dont freak out. Ill go.
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Rachel: All right. (Hilda exits) Im a total pro!
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Phoebe: I dont have it!
Ross: All right! I want my key back!
Monica: I guess theyre back from their date.
Chandler: Look, Joey, Kathy is clearly not fulfilling your emotional needs. But Casey, I mean granted I only saw the back of her head, but I got this sense that shes-shes smart, and funny, and gets you.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
Chandler: I cant help it!
Brenda: Okay. Uhh, Im gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back Ill clean behind the refrigerator.
Chandler: Op, op, Im convinced!