words in movies
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Chandler: I see.
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Chandler: Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Joey: The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!
Elizabeth: I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Elizabeth: Im kidding!
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Dana: Yknow who I ran into from school? Howie.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Monica: Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
Rachel: I have.
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
Phoebe: I dont use a curling iron.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Ross: Yeah. What-what should I do?
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday?
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Dana: Ohh, Im sorry.
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica: Yes it has! I made cookies!
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Phoebe: (gritting her teeth) Okay, Ill be out in a second.
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Joey: I know.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Elizabeth: Uhh, I cant.
Elizabeth: No, I have some turning 21 to do.
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Phoebe: I'm... I'm just... I'm the worst person ever. How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Ross: Okay, stop it! I cant deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
Phoebe: Oh.Okay, then it gets worse, 'cause then I told him that I would see him tomorrow night.
Phoebe: He said: Are you seeing someone? And I said no...
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
Phoebe: Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey.
Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? Its very very important.
Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom.
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Rachel: I love working with designers!
Chandler: Okay, I guess we can lose to junior high girls some other time.
Rachel: Oooh... ***I really can't hear what she says*** come here.
Chandler: Yes! Am I crazy to be this upset?
Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing?
Joey: I know, right? (Chandler has really big eyes, and nods) Wh... Wh... Why are we doing this?
Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.
Phoebe: I am happy.
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)
Sandy: You know, I can't tell it again... (wipes his tears again)
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Rachel: I can't... I can't hear it again.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Monica: Yeah! I think that's great!
Rachel: N-it wasn�t easy, but it�s your birthday and I did what I got to do.
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
Monica: So, I�m, I�m probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try?
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Ross: Hey... I made up that joke and told it to you! (He points at Chandler. Joey gestures to Ross "What are you doing?)
Phoebe: Well, Im returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H. I just spelled the wrong word. (goes into Monicas room)
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
Chandler: As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that Im going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
Mike: Well, I might.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Phoebe: Right! Never! Never! I swear! (They kiss... The door opens and David comes in again.)
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Ross: No! Hey, you know what? I'm sorry. I would never force you... to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with...
Joey: (kind of emotional) I am learning so much from you.
Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Actually, I was kinda hoping it would be the other way around.
Ross: I... just feel that the... the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry. We're... we're more than happy to give you good recommendation...
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Ross: You know, I hate to lecture you guys, but it's kinda disgraceful, that a group of well-educated adults and Joey can't name all the states. Did you ever see a map, or one of those round, colorful things called "a globe?" Hmm?
Joey: Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more(his time runs out for real)
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
David: Yeah, I-I don't, I can't get away with stuff like that. I-I-It sounded sexy in my head, so I...
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Joey: Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so were good.
Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency.
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Sandy: Oh, I gotta go.
CHANDLER: Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Phoebe: Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Rachel: God. (Sits down.) I have never been so uncomfortable in my entire life!
Rachel: Yeah.. yeah right.. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
Phoebe: Hmm, pulling in a salary in the high six figures or rubbing gross naked people for chump changeooh, what do I do?! What will I do?!
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Joey: Oh, and plus Im 1/16th Portuguese.
Phoebe: (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Rachel: I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
Rachel: I do pilates.
Amy: So do I.
Amy: Uh, yeah I think I did.
Amy: I do yoga.
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Ross: So, so now do I get Joey?
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Rachel: Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
Rachel: Well isnt it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?
Ross: I dont know what Im going to do. That date starts in like an hour.
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.