words in movies
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
Phoebe: I am extremely talented!
Phoebe: (interrupting) No, I mean I was really acting my ass off.
Joey: Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too.
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for now. Yeah. I dont want to be over rehearsed.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Phoebe: I am.
Joey: (on stage in an Austrian accent) Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Joey: All right well, Im outta here. Wish me luck.
Joey: Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldnt even be an actor!
Joey: Yeah, did I fool ya?
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Ross: (stops laughing) What am I doing?
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Chandler: (on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.
Monica: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
Monica: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Joey: I want this part so much! Yknow? If I dont get this part Im never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!No, I didnt say that! Thats a lie.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Chandler: Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Chandler: No! No! No! I just kissed her.
Joey: I dont know! But its the same!
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Chandler: Look, Im not saying that you should magically forgive me! But youre not perfect! Youve made some errors in judgment too!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Chandler: Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Joey: I said name one!
Chandler: I cant believe I did this! What an idiot!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Ross: I fell asleep!
Rachel: Y'know I cant believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!
Chandler: (coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Phoebe: I know! I know! I know!
Phoebe: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Joey: Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Joey: I cant believe this Chandler!
Joey: Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Joey: Oh, well Im uh
Joey: Oh wow! Okay man, Im sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Chandler: I think so. Yeah, get off me.
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: Oh my God. I mean
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for today. Thanks for your help! (He grabs their scripts and heads for his room.)
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Ross: I liked her.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Phoebe: I started that!
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
Rachel: But mom, I really know what Im doing. I can handle this.
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Ross: Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Chandler: Im sorry, did you say cheese?
Mrs. Green: I know, my daughters told me about it when they received their impromptu invitations a month ago.
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Monica: Boy, do I have a surprise for you!
Chandler: I havent seen this dress.
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Joey: (in a manly voice) Im gonna go shave. (Gets up.)
Phoebe: I dont know. I-I think its still gonna be a while.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Ross: People ask me why were not together, I just dont know what to tell them.
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
Rachel: No, Im fine.
Monica: Im actually with her on this one.
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Monica: I know that youre new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Rachel: All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Ross: Oh, I know.
Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke.
Rachel: Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay!
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Trudie Styler: So, I guess you and I should talk about Jack and Ben right now.
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
Rachel: Well, I dont know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel.
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Part I Written by: Scott Silveri Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Rachel: No-no-no, no, honey please, Ive got, Ive just have so much to deal with.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
Ross: Hi! Hi, Im uh Ross. Im here to ruin this magical day for you.
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Julie: Oh honey, I think Im having one too!
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.
Will: Im a commodities broker.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
KID: Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency.
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.