words in movies
Phoebe: Im just saying hi! Now Im gonna go!
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Phoebe: Oh! I sous stand.
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Tim: Yes I did.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Monica: All right, I still need a calamari and a Caesar salad.
Tim: I like your necklace.
Phoebe: I made it myself.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Ross: (running up) Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Ross: Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go.
Ross: Im telling you, I like the food!
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Joey's Co-Star: Drake, Ive discovered the reason for all your headaches and memory loss.
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Kash: Hey! How come I havent seen you here before?
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Monica: I I have to fire him.
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Monica: I paid to have this done.
Rachel: I thought I was a complete idiot.
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think Im gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Joey: I said no.
Joey: What? I I just figured since youre pregnant youre not gonna be seeing people.
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Chandler: If I see him, Ill ask.
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Mr. Franklin: Okay, I hear you loud and clear. Bob will stay put.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
Monica: Hey. Okay, I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go!
Monica: No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!"
Phoebe: Because Im dumping him today.
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
Monica: What? So now Im not allowed to fire him?
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Monica: I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first.
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Rachel: Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why Im not drinking on this date tonight. "Umm, Im a recovering alcoholic. Im a Mormon," or "I got so hammered last night Im still a little drunk?"
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Rachel: Oh no, I cant. I got a date.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Rachel: Yeah! All right, Ill see you guys later.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Tim: Its because Im with you.
Phoebe: Aw. (Phoebe gets a bad taste in her mouth when he looks away) Im justIm in a place in my life right now where I I
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Joey: So what movie do you want to seeAnd not another one I have to read. Okay? I get enough of that from books.
Ross: Well, I tell you what. Why dont we uh, why dont we just stay here? Lets not see a movie, well just hang.
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Ross: I just I have to find out how it went.
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Ross: I dont know! I guess I just cant believe any of this is happening.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Joey: Hey, can I ask you something? In this, in this picture of you and your wife, is your wife Rachel?
Joey: I know, but I dont think thats what she wants.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
Joey: No, I said fun!
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Bob: I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Bob: Toby! Im not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler!
Tim: I got your page, is everything okay?
Monica: Oh my pleasure. Okay, Im afraid Ive got some bad news. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe!
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Im breaking up with you!
Phoebe: Im, Im breaking up with you.
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im justIm Im just not ready for a relationship right now.
Monica: Yeah and-and Im sorry too. But, well I justI like things done a certain way and the chemistrys just not right.
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Tim: Thank you so much! Cause I-I know I can do better!
Phoebe: And Tim I just wanna say, good luck here. (Shakes his hand and leaves, which disgusts Monica.)
Rachel: Well Im alone and I just bought fifteen dollars worth of candy bars, what do you think?
Rachel: I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Rachel: He got all weird and sputtery and then he said uh, "Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch."
Ross: Im sorry about your date.
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
Rachel: Oh no, I think Im gonna go home and eat ten candy bars.
Ross: Hey, I thought I cheered you up.
Mona: Im good except umm, you still owe me a dance.
Mona: I think I might need one more cup of coffee.
Bob: I just found out this is Chandlers office! Come on Toby, give me a hand!
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
PHOEBE: I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like.
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Erica: I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center...
Melissa: (quietly) Im a party planner. Ill see you tomorrow. (Exits.)
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
Rachel: Well, there was a disaster in shipping and Ive got to get this order in. Honey, Im so sorry, but it looks like Im gonna be here all night.
(Ross just stands in the doorway, for like a minute Ahh! Whats going to happen next??!!! I cant make it all the way through the Olympics!!!)
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Monica: (crying) This is harder than I thought it would be.
Monica: Wait, you cant have the baby here! I mean I havent sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Joey: This is what Ive got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.
Theodore: No, I'll be fine... I just should check the stitches...
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Phoebe: Oh! And, he's the kinda guy who, when you're talking, he's listening, y'know, and not saying 'Yeah, I understand' but really wondering what you look like naked.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Joey: I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean he was conveniently busy.
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Meg: Well, I dont care about the divorces either, but I wouldnt date him. Its just that hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
CHANDLER: Uh, yeah, I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
RICHARD: What're you talkin' about, I was killin' 'em.
Ross: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.
Phoebe: Im sorry I wont be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but Im really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Leslie: Well, I y'know, I was just, umm, I was just thinking and hoping, that umm, maybe youd want to get back together?
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Rachel: God. I feel violated.
Chandler: Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives.
Monica: My mothers driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. Im happy. (A drunken man approaches.) Im not going to let anything spoil that.
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Ross: Yeah, yeah. I got a lemon schmush.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Rachel: I know! It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit!
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Rachel: Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else.
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Chandler: No! I just happened t�do a lot trivias about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called Leyhallalookoos.
Steve: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me?
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Chandler: I think thats the youngest girl ever to reject me.
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Ross: Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding.
Emily: I dont think you understand packing. Look, I just dont want to leave it to the last minute. Last time I left in such a rush, I left my knickers here.
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Chandler: Im sorry, I guess I just like the pulp.
Joey: We want you to be happy. And I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man. (Joey gives Ross a hug)
Ross: Hey look, Phoebe. I, uh, I laid out the states geographically...
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Phoebe: It's just my knitting that's all! (A dog sticks its head out of Phoebe's bag. Everyone looks puzzled.) Yes! I knit this. I'm very good.
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!
Joey: (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out.
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Joey: Maybe I could give thanks for you shuttin up, eh?
Phoebe: I dontLook I dont know what youre complaining about now? You were both aware of the situation!
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
DR. REMORE: There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Chandler: I do? (He smiles, beautifully.)
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Joey: Thats okay. Chandlers the one Im mad at.
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Chandler: No no no! Look, Carol, can I call you Carol? (Pause) Wh-why would I when your name is Elaine? Oh what a great picture of your son, strapping! (She glares at him.) Thats a picture of your daughter, isnt it, well shes lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. Ill call you from Tulsa. (Exits.)
Chandler: (On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay. Umm, yknow, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy youre marrying.
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Pete: I told you, were adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Phoebe: Ooh, God, it's him! It's that cop! God, I can't believe it! He found me!
Tom: So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh?
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)