words in movies
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you.
Rachel: I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a cantaloupe might hurt less.
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Rachel: Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog!
Joey: Right!(he starts to ape her)"Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor?" (he inclines his head as if to look at a man's private parts)
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Monica: Yeah, I'm sorry. I really am.
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
Phoebe: And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing!
Chandler: I don't have travel insurance.
Ross: Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...
Ross: (browsing the brochure) I guess...It still seems a little...(enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!!
Joey: I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!
Joey: Rach, I gotta say...if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Actress/Olivia: No, I told you...get out!
Actress/Olivia: I don't have a choice...
Joey/Drake: Yes, you do.Yes...you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I...because I can't stop loving you.
3rd Customer: Actually I do have one small complaint.
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
Monica: You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but...
Chandler: Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation.
Ross: Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody.
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?
Receptionist: I don't know what to say.
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Ross: I think it's the sugar, could you hold the apple?
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Rachel: Me? Oh, no, I am not an actress.
Joey: Oh, all right, I can ask Monica.
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Joey/Drake: How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now.
Ross: (on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.
Chandler: And I also got... two more apples.
Ross: We are four short of a bush-o (pause). God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!
Chandler: I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant.
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that.
Rachel: Can I ask you a question?
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Rachel: Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.
Monica: Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor! (pause) Oh right, real life more important.
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Monica: Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place.
Monica: Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.
Monica: I didn't say your songs were not good enough.
Phoebe: Yeah well, "excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but (peering through her spectacles) I can't see it, I can't see it"!
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
Chandler: Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax.
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Ross: No, but I want...I want the pinecones!
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
Joey: (Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!
Joey: I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
Joey: Oh...I don't think it's going very well...
Rachel: What...that scene I saw was so good!
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Rachel: Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before?
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Joey: Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she...is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.
Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Rachel: Yes. Yes I do.
Ross: Its okay, Im ready.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Chandler: Oh God, it freaked me out. Okay, I know it shouldnt have, but it did. I mean I like her, I dont want to stop seeing her, but every so often its like Hey, y'know what, wheres your leg? I mean Im the smallest person in the world arent I? Im the smallest person in the world.
Chandler: Let me think. Let me thinkOh! I dont care.
Chandler: Oh come on Ross, I think were all losers here.
Chandler: Ill take a card.
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Ross: Id like to spin the wheel!
Ross: Shut up! I Dream of Genie!
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Mrs. Green: Of course I am!
Rachel: So umm, youre gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
JOEY: Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing uh, tonight at the coffee house. JOEY: Right, yeah. OK. Um, take care. CHANDLER: Yeah. [Joey walks out and after a few seconds comes back in and gives Chandler a big hug. He then leaves for good and Chandler is left alone in his apartment.] CLOSING CREDITS
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Man: Hey Joey, hi! Im Ray; Im the producer of the show.
RACH: Yeah! Closure. That's what it is, that's what I need. God, you're brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? How do I get that?
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
Ross: Im-Im sure thats not true.
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Rachel: I do. I really do. I dont know anything.
Rachel: Oh no? Pheebs? Monica? Do I know anything about babies?
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
Ross: Im telling you.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Monica: (laughs) Youre still so funny. Youre so funny. (To Phoebe) What do I do?
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Monica: Yeah? Im proud of me too.
Phoebe: You were fantastic! Im so proud of you!
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Rachel: Yes, Ive done my studying and I really know my stuff.
Rachel: (closing a book) Okay! Im ready.
Rachel: A card! A card! I pick a card!
Mrs. Green: All right you two, Im gonna get going.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Chandler: Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who... my parents actually preferred.
Monica: Im so humiliated!
Rachel: I didnt write it.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Rachel: Im serious.
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Ross: Well, Im not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Monica: I can.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Ross: Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!
Ross: God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that Ill stop seeing her?
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today.
Chandler: Id like a Google Card.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont want to go. Im having fun.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Monica: Oh, Im totally crazy, but you-you like the food?
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.