words in movies
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Chandler: I don’t know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy’s car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Phoebe: Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Chandler: If you win, we give up the birds.
Chandler: But if we win, we get your apartment.
Monica: Hey, we would still be living here if hadn’t gotten the question wrong!
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas youre married everywhere.
Phoebe: Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it.
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!
Monica: (grabs the guitar away from her) No, Phoebe, Ill tell you what, if you get ready now Ill let you play it at the wedding.
Ross: Look, if she's talking to it, I just think that I should get some belly time too. Not that I believe any of this.
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Yep! (Gets up) Oh, y'know what? If I heard a shot right now, I'd throw my body on you.
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it!
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Chandler: Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?
Chandler: Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
CHANDLER: If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault. Maybe that's just how you feel.
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Chandler: Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Chandler: Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, its gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow Im conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Ross: 'That thing'? This is how you greet guests at a party? Let me ask you something, if I showed up here with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome in your home?
Chandler: Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Joey: Well my old man is doing a plumbing job down there and he heard they have an opening. So, you want me to see if I can get you an interview?
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
PHOEBE: We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Monica: Im just saying, if we put just a little bit of makeup on you.
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Monica: That is the unusual activity. Look, they just wanna see if you're okay.
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Rachel: Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping!
Gavin: Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous?
Ross: If only he were a woman.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.
Monica: Well, if you want, you can stay with Rachel and me tonight.
Ross: Hey, would it be okay if I wrote a song about this.
Ross: But I'm not! (pause). You know what if you're in the mood for Thai food...
Agency guy: (to Erica) Well, then if there’s nothing else, then the two of us should talk.
Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture.
Phoebe: Wait! But Ross if they dont get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Phoebe: You know, if you want, I'll do it with you.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Ross: He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean...
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then
Monica: Im tellingIf you put that in her apartment youll never hear the end of it.
Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if youre my next victim, dont come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.
Dr. Baldhara: Even if he were... cornered?
Monica: If you want, I'll do it.
Monica: Hey, we can take her back with you if you want.
Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Chandler: Why not?! Id be thrilled if I heard that some hot girl was just looking to getoh I see.
Chandler: Uh, if I were omnipotent for a day, I'd.. make myself omnipotent forever.
Max: It'd be even more exciting if we were going.
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Phoebe: If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! (She holds out the bowl, and makes as to drop the tickets on the street).
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Rachel: Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work?
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
CHANDLER: Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator?
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Chandler: If I help, we can find em faster!
Phoebe: Well, if you don't know I can't help you.