words in movies
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Chandler: Look, the only way I will even consider this is if they offer a lot more than just season seats.
Rachel: All right, okay, look, what if you could keep the apartment and get the tickets?
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
Joey: The Celtics? Ha. They couldn't hit a boat if...wait. They suck, alright?
Chandler: No-no-no, yknow what? I really shouldnt have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasnt cool. And if it makes you feel any better, Ive had a really lousy day.
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever!
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there�s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Chandler: Okay, but if you can't no dinner!
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
Tag: I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you is still good.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Chandler: Wouldnt it be easier if we just moved?
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. Theyve been taping those people up there all day.
Ross: co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didnt handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.
Joey: Is that why you're on this trip, huh? Make me feel like a loser? 'Cause if it is, I'll tell ya, I-I-I'd rather be alone.
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Chandler: Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day!
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Joey: Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Phoebe: Oh, anyway, they say, if we want, we can see it tonight.
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Phoebe: So you wouldnt mind if he was dating someone else?
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Tag: If this is your idea of sexy talk? (Shakes his head that its not working.)
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Monica: Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I wouldve said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriends such a wise assseven!"
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
Gunther: Okay, but only if you give me a drag.
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Rachel: I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend hes Alan Alda.
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Receptionist: (holds up her handshe is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!
Joey: Uh Rach, if youre gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.
Rachel: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they’ll copy it in icing!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Phoebe: Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! Were done!
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Joey: Look Mon, if you could just call my mom
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Joey: If he goes first he can!
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!