words in movies
Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
Chandler: Okay, but if you can't no dinner!
Tag: I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you is still good.
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Chandler: Yeah, I can be a hero, I could do that. I could, I could do... I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me?
Joey: If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Tag: If this is your idea of sexy talk? (Shakes his head that its not working.)
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Monica: Yeah and if I had seven, maybe I wouldve said something like this, "Wow! My boyfriends such a wise assseven!"
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Guy: I ah, I work at Bloomingdales and I might know of a job possibility if your, if your interested?
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Chandler: Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes
Monica: Even if I shrink down to two inches tall?
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
Chandler: Yes, if it really doesnt mean anything, because you know that Im just not ready
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it "supposably"?
Richard: Uh, no! No! Thats art! If it bothers you I can put my art out.
Joey: (stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!
Phoebe: Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
Rachel: Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
Rachel: I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend hes Alan Alda.
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Joey: Im so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, Id be serving him sneezers.
Gunther: Okay, but only if you give me a drag.
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Receptionist: (holds up her handshe is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Rachel: So youll definitely get onstage, even if you dont win.
Joey: Uh Rach, if youre gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.
Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!
Rachel: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they’ll copy it in icing!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere.
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Phoebe: Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! Were done!
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Joey: Look Mon, if you could just call my mom
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Chandler: SoIf you wear that youll make mine less special.
Chandler: Look, its my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Chandler: (examining the cake) Okay well, this side looks bigger. Uh Theres more crust on this side. Yknow? So, maybe if I measured
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Chandler: Well, what if all my stuff was here?
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Chandler: Okay. What if we lived together and you understand what Im saying?
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first.
Joey: If he goes first he can!
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Rachel: Look Ross, if youre so freaked out, just get in the car!
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Chandler: Wait! Wait! Wed really love it if you could be there.
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Rachel: No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Chandler: Yes, if the foxhole was lined with sandwiches.
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Monica: That tape was never meant to be seen by... (pauses) Joey I would feel more comfortable if I was having this conversation in private.
Rachel: Well its hard to tell (Rachel gets up to get a closer look, only shes having some trouble.) Oh God, if she would just stop moving.
Prospective nanny: That's cool. But... but if you do, I'm gonna need three days notice.
Joey: Hey, you can cancel plans with friends if there is the possibility for sex!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
JOEY: Well, the part's mine if I want it.
Rachel: Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Ross: Well I dont know umm, (Pause) what if we were too tie each other up? (Carols shocked and obviously doesnt like that idea.) Umm, some people eat stuff off one another. (Carol doesnt like that idea either.) Nah! Umm, yknow we-we could try dirty talk? (Carol still says no.) Umm, we could, we could have a threesome.
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Alice: Absolutely. Okay, first well start with a little club soda and salt, and then if that doesnt work we can go back to
Rachel: Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant?
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Ohh I wonder if that dude.
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Rachel: Yeah, maybe if youre in love. But Ross, we are not in love, are we?