words in movies
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Bandleader: Thank you, thank you very much. If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Phoebe: Not if you were here.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: Yeah I mean if you want to say anything to her, Id tell her off.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Chandler: All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Chandler: Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Monica: Oh, Id like a latte. Oh yknow what? If youre gonna talk about me, Im gonna go with you.
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Chandler: Man, if only youd gotten here sooner. (Ross turns and glares at him.)
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Phoebe: To see if know what these guys are talking about.
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Ross: Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think yknow if we if Youre wearing the ring.
Chandler: Hes right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Mary Ellen: I'll stay if you can tell me my name.
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Chandler and Monica are entering to see if they in fact did hear Janice.]
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Ken: That�s not true. If you don�t wanna smoke �
Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad.. <sees Monica frustrated at this comment> If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right?
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Monica: Here, I got it. I'll will play my message for you guys, and you can tell me if it's breezy enough.
Chandler: (loud) Ken, please! No, I can�t, I can�t smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Rachel: What if she jumped out the bassinet?
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Joey: If you ask me to stay, I�ll pee. (leaves)
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Ross: So listen ah, I picked Monica for secret Santa, but Im already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
Rachel: Oh thank god, if Phoebe�s going, can we please take Emma home?
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Monica: Besides, if anybody's gonna get free stuff, it's gonna be me.
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
LIPSON: Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. Well it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. If you... If you want your key back, I totally understand.
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Joey: Well it hit me anyway! And it wouldve hurt a lot less if I had finished that last beer.
PHOEBE: So?� What if they do?
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Monica: Like only if the queen comes?
Monica: No, I know. But yknow what? It would make me feel better if Lewis apologized to me.
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Ross: Y'know, here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a woman out,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Chandler: Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...