words in movies
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Professor Spafford: If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the restroom. (he goes away)
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Bitter lady: (now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
Chandler: That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling.
Joey: All right, fine... But if I enjoy this, you have only yourself to blame... (Chandler turns his back to the TV. Joey puts the tape in the VCR, switches it on and watches what's on the tape... It's clearly a american football match, with the referee's whistle blowing, the crowds cheering...)
Monica: Okay, what if the person who adopts the other one is horrible?
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Chandler: Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.
Ross: Okay, if you could all walk slower, that'd be great.
Monica: If that falls off the truck, it wouldn't be the worst thing.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Chandler: If she asks, I protested a little, but ok!
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Sarah: (laughing) No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two way street.
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Joey: Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
Chandler: Fine, but if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party...
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Janine: Okay. Okay. Would, would it help if I went over and apologized?
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Monica: (on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Yknow what Greg? Yknow what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny cant see that then (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) Well see you then! (Listens) Okay!
Mark: Is it okay if I finish the apple juice?
CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.
Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Chandler: Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.
Ross: Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Chandler: Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty!
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Ross: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
Rachel: Check if its wet, check if its hungry, burp it!
Ross: You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! (rubs lamp, stops because it's very hot) Ah!! That thing gets hot!!
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Rachel: So what do you say we make a pact? If you and I are both single by the time were 40, we get married. I mean, we know each other, we like each other, and weve-weve already slept together so yknow therell be no surprises there! You know what I mean? No like, "Whats that?!"
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Julie: Well, if you like you can feel Rachels and then feel mine to compare.
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
Doctor Connelly: And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt.
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Chandler: (to Joey) I have to! Okay? It's time! (Joey shrugs as if to say, "Do what you have to do") Okay, I hate dogs.
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
Chandler: She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
Monica: Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Phoebe: Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Paul: Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or Ill have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"
Ross: of course she has. if she'd never had a serious relationship I'd go round broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.
Chandler: Don't say Richard! Well, if they're not Monica's and they're not yours, then whose are they?
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Chandler: (as Rachel is cutting up her cards) Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream.
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Pete: Her names Ann, shes a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting.
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
Rachel: Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?
Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my mom.
Monica: All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Ross: Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!