words in movies
Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.
Rachel: Hi! I just wanna-(sees Monica)-Ahhh!!! Oh my God! (She runs out in horror.) Oh my God!
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica: But why?! Did he get in touch with Emily?
Joey: Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.
Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.
Phoebe: All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!
Ross: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!
All: (subdued) Yay! (He motions for them to keep quiet, including Chandler who is still holding the lamp Ross handed him, before he goes off to talk to Emily in private.)
Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)
Ross: In London!
Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Ross: Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love!
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)
Emeril: (on TV.) Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Joey: (in a bored voice) PBS telethon.
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!
PBS Volunteer: Hey, no way, I'm in the shot man.
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Joey: (in an unenthusiastic voice) PBS Telethon.
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Rachel: For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes.
Joey: Hey, did you get to the part where theyre trapped in the car and Cujos throwin himself at the windshield?
(Another nurse wheels the next pregnant woman in.)
Ross: Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (singing) 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi.
[Flashback to Chandlers thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Vince: 98 hot saves, highest in the force.
Mischa: (leaning in) He would like to kiss you.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Chandler: Did they teach you that in your anger management class?
[The next flashback is from The One With The Butt. The gang is watching Joey in Freud!]
(The door opens allowing the horde to charge in, knocking Rachel out of the way and to the ground.)
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Ross: (picks up a skull of some carnivore from his side table and puts it in the same bag in which he brought the pterodactyl egg to Zelner) I'm sure he'll understand.
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Joey: (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
Rachel: Yeah, totally! You are in such good hands. And I'm so good with meeting parents. With the father, you know, you want to flirt a little bit, but not in a gross way. Just kind of like: "Oh mr. Pincer, I can see where Wallis gets his good looks..."
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Rachel: Cute guys in little shorts? Sure.
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Monica: (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Ohh, they gave me a great spot. Right by Macys. Yeah, they hardly ever give such a good spot to a rookie, but Im the only one who can sing "Merry Christmas" in 25 languages. (She smirks.) I lied.
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Chandler: Oh, he works in the Fine Foods division.
Man: Im in the middle (The elevator door closes, cutting him off.)
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5+10=" printed on one side.]
[cut to a new scene, also in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting, Phoebe is nearby.]
Monica: All right, fine. Tonight's potatoes will be both mashed with lumps, and in the form of tots.
Phoebe: Ooh, my first birthday present... (delightedly examining the cardigan in her lap) ..oh, this is really...
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
Chandler: Hi! Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? We need a porn break. We spent the last two hours watching In & Out & In, Again.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
[Rachel hits some tom-toms and ends up on the 'crash'-cymbal, which is in fact a ride-cymbal, but whatever...]
Dr. Mitchell: Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. (Baring his teeth to clean them with his finger) Go like this. (Dr. Rosen obeys.)
Zack: Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else?
(Joey places the toliet brush and holder over the hole, which is in the middle of the floor.)
Monica: Oh, sure it does! In high school, you werent jealous at all even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you!
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Matt: And then sometimes during the show yknow but youre like, the scenes going one way but youre just tempted to say something another time. Like, do you remember that one where Monicas baking cookies in our old apartment?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Only Chandler is there with the videotape in his hands, standing in front of the TV set.]
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
Ross: Yeah, okay, hold on! (He puts the phone down and proceeds to spread a large amount of powder on his legs and makes another attempt at pulling up his pants. It doesn't work, and without picking up the phone leans down to it.) (Almost in tears.) They're not coming on man.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Phoebe: Noooo!! Damn you ref! You burn in hell!!!
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
MONICA: It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean I was a chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries?
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
Chandler: Well we-we do. You can only eat Tic Tacks in even numbers.
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachel's office.)
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
Chandler: I dont know! Joey hasnt had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth!
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
Ross: (in a strange voice and eating candies) The big apple!
Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!
(He hears Phoebe and Rachel coming and hides in the ice machine room.)
MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
Joey: Yeah you see umm, well, I'm an actor. Right? So I gotta keep my emotions right at the surface y'know? See what I'm saying? I gotta lot of balls in the air. (Makes like he's juggling.) Y'know what I mean? It's tough! Guys like me, y'know, you wander around, you're alone
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
Phoebe: Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
PHOE: Yeah. Oh, OOOH, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was soooo wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were soooo bombed,' or, ummm, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.'
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
[Scene: The street in front of Central Perk. Steve and Rachel are still there.]
[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachels arms.]
Phoebe: Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they’re in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can’t believe it's been a whole year!
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
[Cut to the elevator lobby, Phoebe walks up and sees a man in a wheelchair with his broken leg extended.]
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Monica: (holding her hand in front of her face) When you were little you slept through-through the Grand Canyon.
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?