words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
ROSS: That, that is funny. That is painfully funny. No, wait. Wait, yeah, that's just painful
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
[Ross and Rachel look at each other and then at Phoebe, realizing the song is about their situation.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]
RTST: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo.
RTST: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Phoebe are there. Monica is suggesting Mockolate recipes to Phoebe.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Ross is up in arms about the Rachel/Julie situation.]
ROSS: I don't know what to do. What am I gonna do? I mean, this, this is like a complete nightmare.
MNCA: Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.
PHOE: Oh, oh sweet Lord! This is what evil must taste like!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
RACH: Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good.
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
RACH: What's that? What? I saw my name. What is it?
RACH: Well what is it? Let me see.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
CHAN: Yes, yes it is, short story, that I was writing.
RACH: What is this? Ross, what is this?
ROSS: No, that, that was, I mean, as opposed to uh, the uh, ok. Is this over yet Rach?
RACH: She is not Rachem. What the hell's a Rachem? Is that some stupid paleontology word that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress.
ROSS: No, Rach, come on. Rach! Rach, no, no! She's not Rachel, she is, she is not, Ra--Rachel?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, eating candy. It is raining out. Ross climbs up the fire escape and is knocking on the window.]
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
RTST: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?
[Ross is at his apartment.]
RACH: [to Monica] Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighin' me down.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's office. Monica is there.]
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Joey: Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Phoebe: Really? Lee Majors is hot!
Monica: Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD?
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Ben: Sharing is good.
Ross: Is there a hopping bonus?
Chandler: This is the best game ever!!!
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon.
Monica: Oh! Did anybody see that-that documentary on the Korean War? (Joey is pissed)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.
Monica: Oh my God, this is horrible!
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Chandler: (on phone) Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname? (Rachel is absolutely stunned, she opens her mouth in absolute amazement.)
Rachel: That is seven days!
Rachel: My due date is in one week!
Joey: What is it?
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Is that a real place? (Rachels stunned) Are they hiring?
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Customer: It is beautiful, but Im gonna use this one. Now, if youll excuse me.
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 'hat' thing.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Joey: Maybe she wants you to learn something. Huh? Now is there anything youre really bad at yknow, sexually?
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
<Chandler is startled and nearly drops the plates.> Sorry.
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.]
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
(Chandler goes into the apartment, while Joey checks his ticket and is embarrassed by his stupid mistake.)
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
David: But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
[Time lapse, Rachel is coming back from Chandler and Joey's.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
[Scene: Frank's tailor shop, Chandler is getting his pants measured.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Julie: Hi. Is this your first?
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]