words in movies
Rachel: So my mother is not coming to my baby shower?!
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Neither is mine.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, Joey is reading a script as Ross and Chandler enter carrying a basketball.]
Joey: All right. Uhh, okay. Our first contestant is Ross Geller. Why dont you tell us a little something about you Ross?
Joey: Excellent! Lets play Bamboozled! Chandler, youll go first. What is the capital of Columbia?
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Can you believe how lame this is?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Joey: Okay, this is gonna be tough. Hold your breath.
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Chandler: This game is kinda fun.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower is continuing as Rachel walks over to Monica and Phoebe.]
Rachel: Eight weeks. I mean I love my mother, but my God, a long lunch with her is taxing.
Monica: Thats right. That is right, you go over there and tell her you dont want her to live with you. Do not take no for an answer!
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
Phoebe: Okay, this is from your friend at work.
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
[Scene: Joey's Apartment, the guys are still playing the game only everyone is really into it.]
Ross: Is there a hopping bonus?
Chandler: This is the best game ever!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Ray: And this is Duncan (points to the cameraman) and Erin, theyre gonna help us out with the audition. So uh, lets get the camera rolling.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is helping Rachel study for when the baby comes.]
Ross: Thats correct! This is an audio question, what do you do when the baby makes this sound? (Makes a sound like someone is choking a cat.)
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his date.]
Doug: Tomorrow night it is then, I should be out of court by six. They keep throwing these sexual harassment cases at me and I keep knocking them out of the park!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
[Scene: The breakfast buffet, Phoebe is already sitting at the table as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse, and Rachel is entering still pregnant.]
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
(Chandler goes into the apartment, while Joey checks his ticket and is embarrassed by his stupid mistake.)
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
David: But... I-I-It's nice... A-a-and... nice is good. A-a-and good is not bad, ergo, w-w-we should keep kissing.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica is going over some plans as Rachel enters.]
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Ross: All right, the score is nine to eight in favor of the guys. Ladies if you miss this the game is theirs, pick your category.
Joey: Oh.. I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know.. I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
[Time lapse, Rachel is coming back from Chandler and Joey's.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is entering, still pregnant.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is reading a script as Ross enters]
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
[Scene: Frank's tailor shop, Chandler is getting his pants measured.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Phoebe: Is Rachel having the baby?
Rachel: (deadpan) Yes, the hard part is truly over.
Rachel: Hi! (Ross is stunned.)
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Nurse: This is a hospital.
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Ross: This is Rachel. (Points at her.)
Julie: Hi. Is this your first?
Monica: Umm, this is going to be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler. Honey?
Phoebe: Oh, this is fun.
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Ross: Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay? He watches Jeopardy! He he touches himself when nobody's watching. Please, please have a heart!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, it is later in the party. The Spin the Bottle game is over and Chandler is making a sandwich as Phoebe watches.]
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Ross is explaining to the gang what happened with his mother.]
Rachel: Okay, here we go. I'm Jabba's prisoner, and you have a really weird look on your face. What? Honey, what is it? Did I get it wrong? Did I get the hair wrong? What? Did you just picture it differently? What? What?
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Phoebe: Oh yay! Great! Okay, what room number is he in?
Joey: And what is his name?
PHOEBE: Bye you. [Ryan's cab drives off. As Phoebe is going back in, she sees the Central Perk sign in the window and laughs.]
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Dr. Long is checking on Rachel again.]
[Scene: Room 816, Dr. Drake Remoray is entering.]
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Janice: I mean this is so great! Were gonna be baby buddies! (Does the laugh.)
Ross: Okay is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no. This is amazing. (He goes over and presses a button on a remote control that opens the entertainment center doors revealing the TV.)
[Scene: Room 816, Phoebe is making her move on Cliff.]
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Phoebe: Somebody went to college. Wow. (Cliff gets uncomfortable) What is it? Im sorry. (She moves her arm, which was resting on the same pillow his leg is.)
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, Janice is being moved to the delivery room and is screaming in pain.]
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Ross: What is that?
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Rachel: Oh God. Is she gonna be okay?
Dr. Long: Here she is!
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Joey: There she is!
[Scene: The Recovery Room, Ross is taking pictures of Rachel holding the baby as the rest of the gang enters.]
Pete: Well ah, the short version is, I ah pursued her for a couple of months, then I gave her a check for 20,000 dollars, and she was mine.
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
Ross: Wow! Umm, okay uh everyone this is Isabella. (Rachel starts crying.) What?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
[Scene: The Portrait Studio, Monica is waiting for Chandler to make another attempt at taking a good picture.]
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Phoebe: Is she in there?
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Ross is looking at Emma as Phoebe walks up.]
Joey: What is it? Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah thats true. Yeah, you love her. You always have. You have a child together. There is no right answer.
Chandler: Well yknow, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
(Joey is stunned.)
(Joey is stunned.)
Ross: Yeah! I know! It was. Oh the only sad thing is I wasnt around when it happened for the first time.
Monica: This is a garden view room, and we paid for an ocean view room.
[Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.]
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
Rachel: And you really think this is a good idea?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Chandlers Hotel Room, Ross is getting Chandler ready.]
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.