words in movies
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: Oh, it's a key. To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
Mike: It's to my apartment.
Phoebe: (excited) No! It's a great time, come in...! WOW, hi... Oh my gosh! What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
Phoebe: I know! (points at herself) Evil! And... and... and... I like Mike so much, you know. It's just going really well. Oh my God!
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Sandy: It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do. But I am straight. I-I'm engaged actually.
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Ross: Because, it's weird!
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Sandy: That's great! (He gets emotional again and waves his hand in front of his face in a feminine way, like trying to dry his tears) I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family...
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
David: ...it's uhm... i-it's two on each cheek and uhm... and one on the lips.
Phoebe: Well, if that's what they do in Minsk... (They kiss 2 on each cheek... and then they pause... David turns to the door) In New York... it's... (and then David grabs her by her neck and kisses her full on the lips... They kiss passionately and cannot seem to stop.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, it's fine, it's fine. Sandy was just... was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée and it was just sooo beautiful.
Phoebe: Hmmm... No, no... No, I can't do this. It's bad.
David: Uhm... uhm... Goodbye... Uh... Schto ya ztez vigul... ui... (David holds his hands gently on the back of Phoebe's neck. There's a sound of a a bunch of keys rattling, and the door opens... It's Mike)
Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
David: Really? Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
Mike: It's never gonna happen again right?
Sandy: (In a puppet voice) So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare...
Rachel: I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo. (Ross walks to the couch where Sandy sits)
Ross: Sandy... Hi, we uhm... we kinda need to talk. I'm afraid it's not working out.
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Ross: No, you know, it's uhm... nothing you did, it's... it's uhm... my issue.
Ross: I know I am! (Ross now starts to cry) ...And when it's summer, and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
Sandy: It's allright! Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
Joey: It's like the cheapest college ever.
Gene: It's heavier then milk!
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Ross: you know I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy I'm always like is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going?
Roy: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!
Phoebe: I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Gavin: Don't be. It's just bad timing.
Monica: Wait-wait, guys! If-if we follow the rules, it's still fun and it means something!
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Chandler: I dunno, but.. I think it's about to attack the Enterprise.
Rachel: Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey!
RACHEL: Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
Doug: (entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?
Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
Charlie: Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe is returning the dog who is bandaged up and has a plastic cone around it's neck.]
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Mike: It's a Speedo.
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Monica: It's my New Year's resolution!
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Rachel: (hesitant) Ye-ah. Yeah! You know, the money's great. It's certainly the easier choice...
Joey: Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string!
Joey: (goes over to Ben) Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle.
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
Monica: It's easy! Just keep it casual! Give him a kind word, shake his hand and give him the money!
Janine: Oh, sorry about that stuff hanging in there. It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer.
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
Phoebe: Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
Phoebe: Okay, let's get some perspective people; it's not like I'm wearing a seeing-eye dog coat!
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Phoebe: Yeah, and I have a definite feeling it's gonna be a girl.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Phoebe: But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.
Rachel: (picks it up) OK... ah, it's light... (shakes it)...it rattles... it's... (opens it) Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! (she gives it back to him)
Phoebe: You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)
Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
PHOE: It's not, it's not very Thanksgiving-y.
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
[Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. It's just Ross and Rachel. They put the camera on a tripod in the kitchen and they are standing in front of the camera.]
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
DR. REMORE: I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word.
Joey: All right, All right, let's just get this out in the open okay? You're hot. I'm lovable. Clearly there's a vibe going on between us. But, we're roommates and it's a huge mistake for us to continue down this road.
Ross: Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (singing) 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi.
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Jason: ...and I know I'll never miss doing it, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty cool knowing that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Joey: no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Carol: It's not true. I never called your mother a wolverine.
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh my God! You guys this is so great! I mean it's so unexpected! I mean Chandler's birthday is even before mine!
Monica: (Rolling her eyes) Nothing. It's fine.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Rachel: No. No. Every thing's--they're fine. Great pizza. But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross. He uh, just gets really nervous when he's flirting.
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
Monica: No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest!
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Chandler: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Chandler: Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Joey: It's creamier.
Ross: OK, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray.
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.