words in movies
Phoebe: Oh! You got it?!
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Joey: Yeah, theres this guy from Chicago whos supposed to be the next Martin Scorcese, all right? But then this guys right after him. (Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.) Hello!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Rachel: (laughs) Well okayWell dont ruin it! Just play along at least!
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Phoebe: Well if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo! Were done!
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah sure, just long as its handled tastefully and that barn is not too cold.
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Rachel: Have at it.
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: No its umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, Im gonna go guys.
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! Its her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Ross: Its okay. Come, come on in.
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, its Monicas bridal shower and Phoebe is passing out some finger food.]
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Monica: Yeah! Okay, this one is a mushroom cap. (Points to it.) Umm, this one is made of bologna. (Points.)
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Joey: The Silly Putty! Its not so silly anymore!
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Ross: Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent!
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?"
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow!
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Phoebe: Good God man dont anger it.
Monica: Do it!
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Ross: Its sex.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Ross: Stop it.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Ross: Forget it.
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Oh you made it!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!!
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Woman: Dont worry about it.
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Monica: And its so clean!!
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Rachel: Yeah it was.
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: I get it!
Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it.
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Cliff: No, Im sorry. Its just my foot itches like crazy.
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Eric: Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and its not like me to do something so impulsive, but shes just so perfect, and we have so much in common.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?