words in movies
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Rachel: Oh my God, who is it?! (Phoebe rolls her eyes.)
Phoebe: Okay, okay. Its James Brolin. James Brolin is the father of my baby.
Chandler: Yknow I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal.
Phoebe: It is.
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Phoebe: So, are you ready to talk about it?
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats fine. Thats fair. Is it Tag?
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
Mona: You think so? Ive always kinda hated it.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Mrs. Bing: Well, its a funny story.
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Rachel: Maybe she hasnt really thought it through that well.
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you very much! (She grabs a glass, takes a sip, and realizes what she just did. She then tries to spit the champagne back into the glass without Monica noticing. It doesnt work.) Oh thats-thats actually how the French drink it.
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
Rachel: All right, Ill-Ill take it again when I get home.
Monica: You-you gotta take it now. Come on, do it as a present to me.
Monica: Oh, come on its my wedding! That can be my present.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Ross: Yes I-I am. In fact umm hey, why dont we try it my special way? You can dance on my feet.
[Cut to Chandler in the hallway practicing dancing and is doing it very well.]
Ashley: Can we do it again?
Mona: So, is it my turn now?
Gert: Dancing on your feet! Like the other girls did it.
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Dennis Phillips: Its an all Chinese cast. Can you be Chinese?
Chandler: Did it turn into sand?
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Phoebe: Its time.
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
Phoebe: Umm, its negative.
Phoebe: Its negative.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: No, its positive.
Phoebe: Its-its not negative, its positive.
Phoebe: Now you know how you really feel about it.
Rachel: Ah, its still not the time.
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Mona: Its Joey right?
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
ROSS: I was thinkin' about it.
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
CHANDLER: Yeah, but uh, it was 1982 and my flock of seagulls haircut was tickling her chin.
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Ross: Well, okay so, I dont have it all worked out quite yet. Just dont say anything to Rachel, please?
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
(Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim.)
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Chandler: Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and its Rachel again.)
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh no-no-no, its has to be 800. (picks up the instruction manual to check the phone number) Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. (Finds the number) Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Cecilia: Yknow what? It doesnt matter! Because it is not true!
Joey's Co-Star: Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is rejecting Jessicas brain.
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Monica: Oh, sure it does! In high school, you werent jealous at all even though all your girlfriends were cheating on you!
Joey: You got it. Come here. (They hug and are observed by the hooker.)
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Chandler: Okay, well it this bed isnt new, how come there is plastic on the mattress?
Monica: Damn it! Rookie mistake!
Chandler: Oh thats not true! Thats not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it! I remember how much she was crying the day when that big dog ran off with it (notices the look on Monica and Phoebes faces.) Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks! I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it (Phoebe looks confused.) Her initials
Phoebe: No, that was my way of telling you. Well, it turns out hes incredibly sensitive, he keeps a journal and he paints. He even showed me charcoal drawings that he drew of me.
Chandler: Oh, and dont get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. Its just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, its making all the other guys jealous.
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Monica: Umm. Well, theres Rachel, and umm, I think thats it. How bout you?
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Young Ross: (singing) 'I am Bea. I drink tea. Won't you dance around with....' (spills some tea and it drips onto his/her dress) Ohhh! (runs away crying)
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Ross: No they dont!!! (He runs to the bedroom to check and returns with his box of condoms.) Well they should put it in huge black letters!!!!
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Ross: I just, I hate this so much! I mean, every time I go pick her up at the airport, its-its so great. But at the same time Im thinking, "Well, Im gonna be right back there in a couple of days, dropping her off."
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Chandler: But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes�no big deal.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
MNCA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. [Reads from paper] In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiana was able to achieve brilliant new levels of... continued on page 153...[turns it] sucking.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Monica: (looking through it) Really? Wow! It looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Rachel: (searching the dictionary) Alright, okay, okay, gleba, gleba... (excited) Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi.
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
CHANDLER: Well that's the brilliance of it. The pretty people... and the running.
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
RACHEL: I don't know.� He was cute, and he liked me.� It was an impulse.
MONICA: It bit. It was a 50's theme restraunt. I have to cook in a costume and dance on the counter. I mean I was a chef at Cafe des Artistes. I mean how could I take a job where I have to make something called Laverne and Curly Fries?
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
Robert: Oh God! Here we go again. Why does this keep happening to me? (spreads his legs) Is it something Im putting out there? Is this my fault? Or am I just nuts?
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Ross: I dont think charging new clothes too your dad qualifies as making it on your own.
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. Theres a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel]
Ross: I was their first born! They thought she was barren! Its not my fault.
Rachel: Oh, its the best! (They both exhale contemplating the joys of marriage.) So, umm hows Monica?
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!
Chandler: Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Phoebe: I just went to my old apartment to get you the-the cookie recipe and the stupid fire burned it up!
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
Phoebe: Yeah, think so. Oh! (She notices the tranquiliser dart has hit her in the butt and removes it) Huh. (Sways back) Whoah.
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Ross: Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, its going to be loud.
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
CHAN: [through gritted teeth] Alright. [clears his throat] "It was summer, and it was hot. Rachel was there. A lonely gray couch. 'Oh, look,' cried Ned, and then the kingdom was his forever. The end."
(Monica grabs the hammer and the crowbar and gets ready to bust it open.)
RICHARD: No. You have got it completely wrong. John Savage was deerhunter, no legs, John Voit was coming home, couldn't feel his legs.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Joey: Itll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship.
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.
Joey: Is it the shampoo? Its guava.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Joey: Well I dont know remember exactly but, its-its pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.
(Rachel approaches and we see the fruits of Ross's evil plan. He has drawn a moustache and beard on Rachel. The flight attendant just ignores it.)