words in movies
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it.
David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!
Rachel: Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed!
Monica: Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?!
David: So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?
Rachel: (looking out the window) What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.
Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.
Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.
Ross: Why, why would you open it?
Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!!
Ross: What did it say?
[Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up]
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Ross: Yeah, that's it?
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.
Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
Joey: There it is, you're blushing!
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Joey: Tell me who it is.
Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.
Rachel: Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is?
Ross: Yep, we got it, we got it. (To Charlie) Thank you so much.
Monica: Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go.
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now?
Monica: Damn it!
Joey: No, he really said it.
Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful!
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
Mike: (popping by, smiling) You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it!
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far!
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic)
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun!
Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other?
Mike: Wanna make it more interesting?
Monica: Make it fifty!
Mike: I'll make it a hundred!
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
Rachel: You know? Forget it!
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit?
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all!
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...!
Monica: Oh, damn it!
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
Monica: I can't believe it! (pause) I lost!
Charlie: Hum, so, I started to say you something earlier, hum... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else.
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: No! Its just that, Kate bothered me.
Chandler: Well its very unsettling.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Ross: Yeah? Wow! It looks really violent!
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Phoebe: No! Its not a cigarette! The smoke is coming out of me!
Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?"
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
(Joeys cell phone rings and he answers it.)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! Its like a fairyland.
Monica: Shes over a week late! She gotta have it today, right?
Rachel: (thinking) Youre going to have a baby, and you need to be prepared. Now, youre going to make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it! (Rachel puts the tape in the VCR)
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow!
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
Cassie: Ill always remember that summer, because its when I got all of these freckles. (She pulls her blouse open to show him her shoulder and bra strap.)
Monica: Oh my God! A friend hes looking at differently, but its wrong. Its Rachel!
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Monica: (seeing the stack of newspapers) Oh my God! Look at all the newspapers! It must be a good review! Is it great?!
Phoebe: Good God man dont anger it.
Monica: Do it!
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Ross: Its sex.
Chandler: What honey, its like fifteen blocks to the subway. Lets go.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Ross: Stop it.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, why are we wasting our time with this other stuff?! We know whats gonna work! Its doctor recommended!
Emily: and that was all before 10 oclock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there arent any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. Were not gonna be
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Ross: Forget it.
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: We know its a girl! (Exits.)
Phoebe: Oh you made it!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!!
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Woman: Dont worry about it.
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Ross: Exactly, itll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Monica: And its so clean!!
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Rachel: Yeah it was.
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Ross: Oh what?! Is she gonna cancel on me again?! How can she do this? Doesnt she know its our anniversary?
Monica: No its umm, more like a wrap. Okay so uh, Im gonna go guys.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Mrs. Green: Oh my look at that. Only three weeks to go, now have you picked your nanny yet? Now I dont want you to use your housekeeper cause it would just split her focus.
Rachel: Oh my god. Oh my god. (She decides to make a break for it.) Excuse me. Move! Move! Emergency! Excuse me! (She tries climbing over a bench and falls down.)
Rachel: I get it!
Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it.
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Cliff: No, Im sorry. Its just my foot itches like crazy.
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.